Loving Differences. Yummy!

So, I'm having somewhat of a dilemma. Here it is: I feel like there are rays of light shining out of each and every one of my pores. Tiny little bright beams of light that I just can't seem to turn off. Not even in my sleep! Doesn't sound so bad does it?! The obvious answer, or at least the obvious one that I would be more inclined to say if someone put me on the spot and asked me that question and said I only had two seconds to respond is- NO! Not bad at all! GOOD! GREAT! 

You might be surprised, however, to discover how much resistance I receive from some of our fellow human beings. Like, maybe they would feel better about being around me if they were able to wear some sunglasses. That's fine. I say wear them. Shield your eyes so you can stand the shine, and stick around long enough to soak up some of the vitamin D that could be available to you when we meet, because God knows I have plenty to go around lately and I don't mind sharing. :)

Here's the dilemma. I feel one way (bright and shiny) and external forces tend to either make me brighter or dimmer. I suppose this is a good thing-- it helps to align my lioness tendencies more toward a balanced place. So, I guess there is really no dilemma anymore. What we need now is a solution!

The solution(s) (per Noah Maze-- (thank you Noah for putting this into clear, concise words)): CELEBRATE! Tolerate. Take Action!

1. CELEBRATE!: OMG how amazing is it that we are all different. It would be exhausting if we were all the same wouldn't it???! I mean, we would have to convince someone to go pave the roads (God knows I don't want to do that, but someone does!). We would have to convince someone to roast the coffee, deliver the babies, own and operate the corner market, fly the planes and answer the phone at Verizon when I need to make an upgrade. That's a lot of convincing! So, we celebrate! We celebrate our differences on all levels- physically, mentally, emotionally AND spiritually. Sometimes this is the quickest way to dissolve the discomfort we may get by coming face-to-face with a difference. If this doesn't work for you, try the next one.

2. Tolerate. If there is no serious harm being done to you or to someone else when a difference is presented, can you tolerate it? Can you take a deep breath, see it for what it is, and move on knowing that that person or situation is playing it's role in the grand scheme of things, and it's probably playing that role quite beautifully?! Probably. And if not, it's just showing us the opposite of what it could mean to be beautiful given the set of circumstances and the way the stars have aligned for that person, for you, and the situation at that very given moment giving us a more broad view of the full expression of what it means to be 'it' at that point in time. Dang. In fewer words, it is what it is for what it's worth. Done and done. Moving on. But, if that still doesn't satisfy the craving to react (or hopefully respond) to this human experience, you have one more option. Thankfully.

3. Take action! Thank God for this option, right? Thank God there is an option that allows us to express our feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside which usually leads to a bigger blow up than is ever necessary. We should take action when we truly recognize that there is harm, hate, violence or destruction in the equation. This negative vibration I am speaking of is totally petty, unnecessary and almost always avoidable. The key to freedom from blowing up at someone or something prematurely: silence. Silence says so much more than noise sometimes. Silence allows us to assess the situation, then (guess what?) we GET to respond rather than react. How exciting, right? I think so. It also gives us time to go inside and try to get to the root of why the difference flips an emotional switch within us in the first place. I encourage you to go there first, assess your TRUTH, then do your best to respond with the most positive vibration you can muster up in the moment. Sometimes it only takes a moment of silence to hear the real truth and sometimes it takes years. And of course, it's all a practice. So, if we fly off the handle too soon, we get a chance to recognize what happened (which is usually in the form of a release of negative energy) and do our best to heal with light and love when we can. Simple, not easy, of course.

So, there it is my friends. Easy as 1, 2, 3! :) And if it's not that "easy" for you, I suggest you take a look at why not?? It's a shift in perspective that is truly is available to all of us no matter what our astrological signs are or how we were raised. Let the guard down, trust the process, soften into the light and breathe in the goodness! Yummy.

Let Me Count the Ways...

Dear Sacramento,

How I love thee.

Sunday night I was able to make it back to you from LA. From one love to another, the wheels of cars and trains got me back home. This time, with no agenda. This time, just to be here, breathe in the Spring air, visits friends and family, and to simply enjoy you. A place I used to take slightly for granted. Sacramento, you hold a special place in my heart-- you and all of your people (who are my people too), your places (so quaint, friendly, familiar), and your things (trees, flat roads to ride bikes on and farmer's markets).

Ohhh but how I do miss Maui and LA. I know what you are going to say... "LA already, Anna?? You just left!!" I know, I know. LA, yes. The "plan" is that we can be in an official relationship in the next few months rather than random few-night-stands every now and then. I hope you can understand. I can hopefully even update my relationship status on my facebook. It's THAT official.

Before then, I must have another engagement with Maui. We still have to surf together and soak up some sun on the beach. I will have to say my goodbyes so I can welcome a new home base into my life. If I could write this same letter to Maui I would say, "Maui, it's not you, it's me. No really! I promise. I am just needing a little more stimulation than you can offer me!! No hard feelings, I still love you and always will. You, and your people, places and things." The same goes for you, S. I really do love you. You will always hold tons of space in my heart. It's just that since the beginning of the year, I've come down with a serious case of the travel bug. I can't seem to shake it yet, so I'm just letting it do it's thing until it wears off.

Sending you LOVE, blessings and LIGHT from my being to yours!

-xoxo-

Anna

....And the love notes continue. I have to say living a life where you really don't have a home is, well, quite interesting to say the very least. Interesting, exhilarating, difficult and easy at the same time. If I could sum it up in one word, I must say more than anything, it's rewarding. ???? Rewarding?? Not having a home?? Floating from one place to another?? Interesting.

But yes!! Rewarding!! For years I have been trying to find the shoe that fits. The shoe that feels the most comfortable at the moment, and right now, this shoe fits. Call it the case of the travel bug, or call it lucky circumstances, or call it crazy!! Either way, it fits. We all need something different in our lives at different times. Some people are happy wearing the same pair of shoes for 20 years and some people change their shoes three times a day. I'd like to think I wear a pair (or two) a day. (In all reality, I've had four pairs with me for the past month-- a neon yellow pair of sandals, vintage cowboy boots, some wedge heels, and my bare feets.) Each one serves a different and useful purpose. More than that would make it tough for my suitcase to close, and if you have ever been on the road, you know how much that could suck. My job is to assess what pair is most fitting for the day ahead.

What I am trying to say and the honest truth is that relationships don't have to be as difficult as we can sometimes make them out to be. Right?? It's like the case of the travel bug, and the case of the shoes. If we can embody that, it can serve us. The travel bug offers a sense of freedom that could be harder to attain while staying in a relationship that isn't necessarily serving the highest good.  So, change the shoes. If the new pair doesn't fit the circumstance, change them again! Maybe this makes sense to me because I am 25-years old lady with no responsibilities and am able to "choose" my shoes on a daily basis. But the purpose of this post is to open your eyes to the possibility that you, yes you, can choose and change your shoes at anytime if they are uncomfortable or causing you blisters. :)

The example of the shoes is a micro-perspective on the bigger picture. The point is that if we can zoom out to see our whole outfit for the day, we can see what kind of shoe not only fits the best but also looks good and allows us to feel confident in our own skin. The confidence will help to shape the world around us and get us into the VORTEX!!!

Have you heard of this concept about the vortex?? If not, take a listen....

The vortex is where I like to live these day. I seek it. It's where I feel the best, the most confident and my outfit and shoes look the best all together. The vortex is when we are not fighting. When we are free. When we are not worried about what might happen to us in the future. It's where we can zoom out from the present moment and see the big picture while still being able to keep some amount of focus on the present. Tricky, but completely accessible all of the time. It just takes practice!

I've had so many people mention to me how they would LOVE to do what I am doing now. I say to them, I invite you to explore the option, but also to take a look at how good you may have it. If the current pair of shoes really really doesn't fit, change them out! And if they are you favorite shoes so far and the sole still has a pretty thick layer, keep em on baby until you can't comfortably wear them anymore.

Then dance, and dance and dance and dance. Count the ways you could be in love with the present moment. If you really can't be in love, take them off-- go barefoot until the right pair comes along. Keep your eyes open. It's all a matter of perspective. Love your shoes and your city. Hopefully we will grow to appreciate and love all shoes and all cities. Then, we are free. Then, we can experience bliss even when we are getting blisters.

Gypsy Living

Well, the title of the post says it all. I am officially a gypsy. Talk about letting go....

And with no "home" to call my own, no car, a dwindling bank account, three pairs of shoes and a suitcase, the journey continues. This may explain why my posts have been few and far between lately. But trust me, the keyboard calls my name all too often. My fingers long for the dance. I justify it by trying my best to fully soak up what is happening in front of my face so when I do return to the page, everything that has been collected in my memory can flow freely. So here we go!

I can try to catch you up on the going-ons in my life, but it might take all night to explain. You probably don't want to read about that anyway. Instead I will attempt to share with you the lessons learned along the path.

Lesson #1: Stay on the path.... Because it is oh so easy to stray. I am so lucky-- lucky to be alive. Lucky to have the gift of a healthy body and mind. If you are saying to yourself, "Well I'M not healthy, so I'M not lucky!", then you are lucky for something else. You have all the tools you need. Chances are you are reading this from the comfort of somewhere (home, coffee shop, work, the beach on your iPhone) through some kind of technologically advanced device (computer, "smart"phone). If you have those things, you have more than most people do-- You are lucky. This also means you have said tools at your fingertips. TAKE ADVANTAGE! With today's advancements, we have access to an abundance of information that can help us to better our bodies and minds. Ever heard of YogaGlo?? $18/month gets you unlimited yoga from master teachers and all you need is an internet connection. My point is that it is easy to be lazy and being lazy for too many moments in a row usually leads to us taking a few steps away from our intended path. Which leads to my next lesson...

Lesson #2: "Be who God meant for you to be and you will set the world on fire!" -- Bishop of London at the Royal Wedding. We all have a purpose, otherwise we wouldn't be here. When we came into this world, when our vibration decided to take physical form, we had a mission to accomplish. It's almost as if life is a game. (That makes it really really exciting.) One of our first tasks is to figure out what that mission is, then we can map it out. We can trace our little steps strategically until we reach the goal. The funny part is that sometimes we find out what this is really early and sometimes really late. Sometimes we don't even know we are doing what we were put here to do. And sometimes it's crystal clear. The bottom line is that until we know, the search must go on and if it doesn't then we are like feathers in a windstorm (which has been a literal and figurative reality for me recently!). Seek your path. Open your eyes. Enjoy the ride!

Lesson #3: ENJOY THE RIDE! When we trust the process, the universe and God (if you can fathom that idea) we can soften into our being, our vibration and our surroundings. Then!!, each breath has a chance to be smooth. Deeper even! Thank GODDESS for the breath. This one little thing which comes so freely to us in any given moment is our gateway to enjoyment. When we hesitate is when we suffer. When we place judgement or get angry because shit doesn't work out like we want it to, we are blocking the flow of the universe that is working through us. We are not letting be what is supposed to be. It's not that serious!!! We just think it is. :) Trust. Soften. Breathe. 1. 2. 3. Simple. As. That.

Lesson #4: Gratitude-- the gateway drug. So so important. So important that I am tempted to move it up to lesson #1. Thanking your lucky stars for what you have been given could possibly be the very thing that will allow more doors to open for you. EVEN if in the moment life is throwing you up against a brick wall over and over again, thank the wall for trying to knock some sense into you. It will continue to give you headaches until the message is clear, so do your best to become friends with it. Once peace is made, the wall crumbles, the karma is cleared and we can move forward. It's magic!! (And addicting once we get the hang of how it works.) Hence the nickname. :)

Oh, man. Thank goddess. Thank you thank you thank you for these lessons. These, my friends, are the very things that are keeping me sane along my journey. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be happy without a "home". The best lesson of all is learning that home is everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Shiiiiiit, talk about being lucky. THAT is a gift-- priceless.

NOW GO EXPLORE! HAVE FUN!! BREATHE! And don't forget to say thank you.

Ace of Wands

There is a spider the size of two quarters crawling around on the ceiling in my room. Might be a cane spider, but can't be certain. Either way, it has been in here for two days, at least. My nervous system is not begging me to unzip my skin so it can sneak away to safety without the 8-legged angel catching its shadow. My heart is not pounding blood through my veins.

I am calm, and actually sensitive toward our shared space--it's inviting, to both of us.

What I am trying to say, is that ANYTHING is possible right now. Anything. When we stop to take a closer look, we surprise ourselves. That is, if we are in the mood to be surprised. If not, status quo it is. There's nothing wrong with that, unless of course you draw the Ace of Wands from the tarot deck on a random Sunday evening after a long day of service and networking.

I haven't written in a while because, well, I've been busy. My energy has been directed toward shooting laser beams of magic out of my whole being rather than through my fingertips into the keys. To be completely honest too, I my plate is fuller now than it ever has been--and I don't even have a job! Africa in two and a half months, going back to Sacramento (details to follow), fundraising, making new connections, getting over old ones, selling my broken car and manifesting a new one, finding a new home (not house, home), establishing my career as a yoga teacher AND finding time to connect to nature and my inner most needs, wants and desires while trying to discern what is truth and what is a "story" that is no longer serving me.

The Ace of Wands is all about creative, fiery power, vitality and passion. With this wand, if you can dream of it, consider it yours. If you want to walk all the way across a rainbow, you can probably grow wings and make it happen. If you want to go to Coachella to party with rock stars, meet inspiring people, teach donation yoga classes and sell the hottest jewelry on the market to all the women who deserve to be wearing it, then book the ticket already, because you are meant to be there. If not, if you can't even think of these possibilities, let alone DREAM of them, I suggest you consult the cards-- or just skip the cards and sit quietly. The answers always come no matter the medium.

As for me, Ace of Wands it is. I'm ready to ride that wave without grabbing on to anything familiar or solid. Speaking of, mmmm, Sacramento definitely taught me how to let go. Two and a half weeks was plenty of time to spend in my hometown. A town that has served me as if I was a goddess for most of my life and continues to do so even today as I sit on this sacred land mass in the middle of the ocean. I still hear her voice and the voices of her ancestors. I still can feel her faint touch caressing my thoughts as they glide through the inner workings of my soul as if they were silken sheets covering my body as a warm wind blows through the open bay windows in the night-- soft and sensual, comfy as hell, yet unnecessary. Who really needs (or even wants) silk sheets for more than a night?

I gained tons of insight in Sacramento- mostly about relationships. Many old behaviors and patterns were magnified, much clarity was gained and several lotus flowers waiting to emerge from the mud had the chance to see the light of day. Thank GODDESS!

Now, with the power of the cosmos behind me, really and truly, anything seems possible... Even this...

...And Coachella, Africa, fundraising, a new home and silk sheets, but only when I'm feeling lavish. There is no time like the present. No time like buckling down and living out life's wildest fantasies. No time like throwing all you own to the wind to chase your dreams and make them come true. Now, amidst the chaos, terror and confusion lies salvation. This is not a myth and it is not a new-age idea. It is the law of the universe: The unity of opposites, according to Heraclitus. For every "bad" there is "good". For every time our Mother Earth purges because of her man-made sickness, more balance is created. Just as our own bodies can heal themselves, so can our planet.

I will draw from the deck once more before I leave you for the night... What must be shared with the collective?

Ten of Swords- Ruin!! "...This card reflects your entire negativity, your self-hatred, your fear of going crazy. The areas of your life that were founded on illusions are losing their apparent solidity and are breaking apart like a house of cards. You are afraid to admit this is happening because you fear the downfall of your unconscious lies and resultant chaos... You can choose to go through this low point. To do so, you will need courage, daring to take risks, and honesty... recognize your fears for what they are: projections. Get up very close to the screen on which you are projecting your terrifying images and you will see that the screen is just an innocent white surface." -G. Ziegler

Honor the downfall. Let go. Chase your dreams! If you hold back, there will be ruin. If you let go, prepare to dive into new depths of your soul. The cards don't lie...

Too much concrete!! Mother Nature feeds us more than we know.

May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be filled with loving kindness and peace. May YOU (me, you and all beings) be happy. May YOU be healthy. May YOU be filled with loving kindness, and peace.

This meditation is done in a way in which we direct our attention to certain people, places and things (beings) and literally send loving kindness and peace from ourselves out toward the subject(s) at hand. If you have worked with it in the past, maybe it would be a good time to pick this tool back up. If not, I highly encourage you to try it. First, send blessings to yourself. Then close friends and family- people who bring you joy. Then, those that trouble you. And if you have any blessings left in you, send it to all beings everywhere- as far as you can possibly imagine. May they all be happy and free.

Notice after the meditation your attitude and perspective on specific beings you sent your love to. Is there a shift within you? Do you feel more compassionate and understanding? How do you feel toward yourself? Towards others?

This tool is always available to you. When you need to hit the RESET button, use this. Sometimes you may have to sit with it for a while and other times just for a moment or two. This, along with the natural elements of Harbin Hot Springs is helped me to hit that button. Thank GOD! Ooohhh, how it was needed.

Being on the mainland has been interesting to say the least. Many times I have wished a plane would swoop down, scoop me up on its wings and take me back to the island- home. Event though Sacramento has been my home for the past 25 years, I truly feel more at "home" on Maui even though I have only been there for 2.5 months!! I feel at home at Harbin's too. So what's the correlation among the three spots? My hypothesis: nature, openness, infinite possibility, Spirit, concrete, "rules", shoes. All have varying levels of these things. Maui and Harbin's have more of the first four and less of the last three. 

I've been working with my "magic wand" lately. One that I feel I have received from Mama Maui. As long as I am gracious while swirling it around in the air, it seems to do great things. Acts that seem unimaginable. Times that seem like, "Whoa did that REALLY just happen two minutes after I asked for it?!?" Sometimes it takes longer than two minutes and other times it happens in two seconds.

Being in Sacramento has given me the opportunity to exercise my magic wand, my power and my discernment in that order, specifically. First, the wand. What do I want/need/desire? Swirl it around aaaaand then there's the outcome. Cool. Second, my power. What do I do with the outcome? Take it and run with it, sit with it and soak in its splendor or leave it as you would leave the last bite of dessert (sometimes)? Lastly, discernment. How long do I carry the weight of the outcome with me and where and when do I let it go? These are all interesting questions to assess, but in a way it's like a game- a game of life. In this game, we make wrong turns that set us back, but we also make a lot of right turns that launch us ten spaces forward unexpectedly.

It's exciting. Exhilarating at times. And without the balance of less concrete and less shoes, it's tiring. Even if you don't have the luxury of living in Maui or being able to retreat alone to Harbin's, make a space for yourself. Even if it's time in a hot bath with some essential oils or a Lush Bath Bomb (love those things), find the time and make it happen. Peel yourself away from your phone, computer, friends, coffee shop, favorite bar for a night and retreat! Get comfy with yourself. Love yourself as you would love your lover or best friend or child. Take everyone else out of the picture so you may be better able to serve them when they are actually in front of you. If you are empty, they will not benefit. If you are full, they will feel the effects of your energy and in turn be nourished by you.

It's all about giving and receiving. May you be happy, healthy and filled with loving-kindness and peace. 

OMG! Please Read- Beware the Power of the Message.

Bjork. Honolulu airport. And an overpriced beer. 1:15pm. March 9th, 2011. Today is the first day of the 9th wave of the Mayan calendar. Wholly Jesus. If you consult the diagrams below, you will see what the different waves entail. 9th wave, BEGINNING TODAY!, is the wave of the collective consciousness coming together in harmony. People are waking up! It has been building for years and years and TODAY, today, marks the official beginning. It explains EVERYTHING!!! I'm yelling into the keyboard right now because I am so freaking ecstatic! Finally, I have an explanation for all the things I have been thinking are happening! This means I am not crazy!! Woo wooooooO!!!!

(photos from calleman.com)

Ok. Now that you have checked these diagrams out, are you with me?? Do you see and feel and taste and are able to touch what is going on?? The energy is intense, in the best way possible. I feel it. You feel it if you are supposed to feel it. If not, you will soon. It is inevitable. 

I am flying back to Sacramento at the moment to throw a party! A celebration! A time where the collective (you and me and your friends and my friends) are all coming together to support the greater cause, the bigger picture, us. You and me. We are the same. You are me as I am you. Didn't the Beatles say something like that in I Am the Walrus?

As I sit here typing to you as quickly as I can because I have so many thoughts in my head ready to pour out of my fingertips, I can't help but to smile and clap my hands while alone in an airport bar in public. Who cares if people think I'm nuts, right? I have already confirmed to myself that I am not. And I know I am not in a state of denial. We just are moving through the time in which the collective IS in denial. Now, TODAY!, we deepen the awakening process. A little more denial gets stripped from the surface and the onion of life gets more potent- towards the middle- closer to the center and to the truth. 

If you are feelin' me, please respond to this post with some sort of 'yes! amen sister!'. It just feels good to know there are people out there on the same page. If not, well, I will pray for you to get you to that place where you can honestly say, "yes! amen sister!".

Let's all take some silent time today to meditate on what is happening in our cosmos. Sit back. Relax. Maybe even lay down in savasana (flat on your back, palms up, body heavy). Don't forget to release your jaw muscles. Soften and feel. Breathe into the majestic power that today has to offer. Breathe it in. Let it sink into your bones- every fiber of your being. This power will continue for a few days. Be open to feeling it. Then, come together. Come be with me on Saturday at the fundraising event. Even if you are afraid of being in a yoga class, come. You can sit in the back or on the side and just watch for all I care. Actually, I am completely open to that. At least the message will be heard. Come, my people! Let's be together.

I can't wait to touch down in Sacramento. I can't wait to see everyone! I can't wait to be at the event with you all. I can't wait to get back to Maui, too. Love to you all. You are my family. Many blessings to you on this powerful day. 

Hanuman Leap-of-Faith #2. Here we come, world.

It's 4:20am. The bugs are chirping outside my Haiku haven window, the candle still lit because I didn't blow it out before I went to sleep and my fingers heavy on the keyboard because they have so much to say and have had so little time to be able to spill the beans. (My posts are getting thin... but that's all about to change.)

March 7th, 2011 marks the day of another great Hanuman leap of faith- entrepreneurship. Working for me, myself and I. Before I go into the schpeil (sp?) about why, where and how, I would first like to extend my gratitude to every person and situation that has led up until this moment, for the collective experience is what has caused me to believe that this is the only path I am able to logically walk upon at this given time in this given space. Everything from my upbringing, to how the stars aligned when I was born to my last few jobs and all things in between. My life's compass points in this direction with intense clarity- no wavering. Maybe the crystals I have been wearing have induced a sense of sharpness into the mix, too. Either way, it is crystal-clear that this leap must be taken. Again, if not now then when?!


I leave Maui in 32 hours to head back home to Sacramento for a few weeks. Last month I couldn't WAIT to go home. These past few days, I am realizing how much I am going to miss this new home I have created on Maui. My friends. The source of power I am tapping into (that hopefully is tapped in enough and will travel with me). Inspiration. Encouragement. Clarity. Since my stay on this island, the creative juices have been flowing and I am not ready for any curve balls that traveling back home might have to offer. However, I do know this: my intentions for coming home are even more clear now than when I booked my ticket a few weeks ago. I have a bit more of an understanding about my past life (and by past life I mean the one I was living before I moved away), my direction and my goals. I'm excited. But as I am learning at this very moment, once you are working towards your true purpose, the mind has a harder time shutting off, hence the 4am writing session. Thank God I am trained in a practice that quiets the crazy monkey in my head! So, the flow of my work will continue from where ever I am on the globe, or at least that's my hope.

A good friend once told me that people rarely ever rise above their economic status they were born into. I believe him. Being the woman I am, a strong-willed lioness, I am making the conscious decision to break that chain. Life is about to get hotter that it already is and the steam that I created from the boiling pot of action and faith is rising steadily and easefully. Not to say it isn't taking energy and focus. If anything, it's helping to channel my attention in the most positive way, just like my new neon hula-hoop is helping to rise my kundalini as I get lost in hoop-land on the the beach. :)

Here's to new beginnings! To past teachers, the present moment (where the entire universe is held in one instant) and to the glory the future holds. I can't wait to see all of my Sacramento peeps! I can't wait for the Africa Yoga Project fundraising event at Asha Yoga this Saturday. I can't wait for all of the good conversations to be had by close friends that I haven't seen in a few months and to watch how my growth will contribute to and affect these meetings. I can't wait to allow the ball to continue to roll down it's wild ride of a path. I also can't wait to get back to Maui and see how it is all going to unfold. I can't wait to jet-set all over the globe the next few months and see what I can manifest as I create a job for myself. My life is my work. My work is not my life.

I can't wait til I am 75 and am able to look back and see how it all turned out.

Til then, onward, my friends. Onward and upward. Focus. Clarity. And most of all, basking in the beauty of the lila, the play of life.