Filling the Cup of Life, and Christmas.

I know there is a lot of whispery talk about whether or not to say "Merry Christmas" because of the plethora of holidays in December and the offense anyone person might take if 'their' holiday is not honored in your speech. But, I say, Merry freaking Christmas, everyone. I think we all get it by now. We all recognize there are different celebrations going on, but when someone says Merry Christmas, we get the point. Its a kind gesture- one of wishing someone a happy day no matter what the religion is. The intention is there, I'm sure. So, again, Merry Christmas my friends.

First, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who is a part of my life either on a daily basis, or weekly, or every few months. If your reading this, you probably are that person- so thank you for you. I have been getting so much positive feedback and support in my life lately and have been reflecting on why it has been so abundant. My only answer is you. All of you who have constantly pulled me out of the dirt and cleaned my knees off when I have fallen. All of you who have mended the bruises with kind thoughts and words. All of you who were not afraid to speak your minds to allow me to become more aware of myself and my actions. And all of you who have given me enough space to blossom into the woman I am today. The simple act of reflecting on those gifts fills me with joy more than any gift you could possibly place underneath a tree.

We all get fed in different ways and from different people. It's like a cup. Any cup you choose- make it own. Our cup is full when we enter this world. And we give of ourselves to our family so their cups can be filled with happiness and the essence of a child. We continue to fill our elders cups as we start to empty our own as we age. However, the little things that allow a children's eye to sparkle send streams of life into our cups as we experience life. We grow older, the cup continues to be filled by others and we continue to empty it for others. The cycle continues until we are done- when we drink what is left in the cup, take that joy with us, and move on to whatever comes next.

Today, if you are feeling empty, reflect on the things that do fill your cup. What excites you? What soothes you and puts you at ease? Who in your life fills you with joy? Go find that and embrace it. Welcome it with open arms, even if it is scary. Spend time with it so you may be filled.

Today, if you are feeling full, where can you share some of your inner joy? Seek out those that seem empty and nurture them. Fill them, give of yourself so they may feel some of what you have.

I will leave you all with this today as I go now and seek to fill and be filled. A passage from my favorite book, The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran....

"Then said a rich man, Speak to us of Giving. And he answered:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you may keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have- and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall someday be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, or receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.


And you receivers- and you are all receivers- assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father."

Merry Christmas, my worthy friends.

My Christmas present to myself... a Website!

Mmmmm hmmmm.... from start to finish, yours truly created this little gem for your viewing pleasure. That, and to allow my yoga teaching to become my official labor of love, also known as work. Check it out, and if you know anyone traveling to Maui and may be in need (or want) of yoga while they are there, point them in this direction....

www.trustsoftenbreathe.com

This was my first experience with website domain names and pointing and designing and the whole deal... If you've never had the honor of doing this, well, you're not missing much. There is something to be said about the art of creating something out of nothing, however. It's quite rewarding. (I think I secretly liked this project....)

Let me know what you think, besides the fact that most of the content isn't really true until January 1st! Maui, here I come! Catch me with open arms. I'm ready for the hug.

PS. I love you all. You, and you, and you.... All of you that continually support me and my inner joy. You keep me on my tippy-toes- twirling and dancing through it all. Much love to you. :)

Feeling the Flow

Last night I had an opportunity to have a conversation with someone who in any other circumstance I would have not normally thought to chat with. But I was there, and so was he- so we talked. By the looks of it, we come from different sides of the block- in so many more ways than one. It was scary. I felt myself tense up and start to build a defensive wall, as if whatever he said I should already have a reply or else....!

Trust. Soften. Breathe.

Daaaaang! This mantra applies in every situation. Not just on the yoga mat, right? I reminded myself of these three simple words and my mind was blown. I got to see a side of another human being that was shockingly beautiful and extremely unexpected. It was so humbling for me. We can talk all day about not judging a book by it cover, but let's face it- we do sometimes. We are not all perfect angels all the time. In the midst of being humbled, I got to soften, let my walls down, sit back and listen. I didn't feel the need to comment or put my two cents for whatever they are worth into the pot. I was able to breathe it all in. Deeply.

I'm not sure if you have had an experience like this before, but I highly recommend it. Even if the situation doesn't perfectly present itself, seek it out. Maybe you will find the situation when you feel like you are starting to judge. Like I said, it's scary. If you can swallow the fear for a minute, take a deep breathe and go for it. It's such a rewarding experience.

The best part of all- it's helping me feel the flow. The flow of life, people, nature, situations and the power of kindness. We all come and go, weaving in and out and up and down amongst the flow of everything else that is here with us. To sink into that space is like getting a massage... One where you are not worried about a thing. One where each point of the body is melting away and is becoming vulnerable. Where the mind is open and returning to a clear state. Mmmm hmmm. Sounds good, yes? I think so.

I have heard great teachers speak of the connectedness of us all. Not til last night was I truly conscious of  it in the moment of having an interaction. Not to say all interactions before were pointless and disconnected.... The burst of insight just happened to be flowing at the time. Tap in. Seek it out. I promise it feels good.

Til next time... do your homework! :)

Beware the path of the Yogi

Beware, my friends who are choosing to embark on a conscious and more-aware-than-before life, because this sh*t is not easy sometimes. Keyword here is 'sometimes'. I feel like if you are listening, I am preaching to the choir. If you are at all interested in my words, I feel like you are already on the path of the yogi-- even if you don't go to 'yoga class' with the rest of your block.

Yoga is not the practice of only asana (poses). It is so much more than that and there are so many different ways to practice. The Sanskrit term 'yoga' means 'union' or 'to yoke' which means to join together or integrate. A yoke in English terms can be like the wooden yoke that is dressed upon the oxen and joins those muscle-y mammals with the wagon. (Google it if you dont know what I mean). It integrates the oxen and their people and luggage together so they can travel strongly down their trail. Like the yoke, the practice of yoga can help to join us to something waaaay stronger than our little bodies to help with the travels along our path. Whatever that is that you hang on to for dear life and is your strength and safety net when you are weak is your yoga practice. (And no, the bottle or the pipe cannot be your yoga practice. Trust me on this one!)

Deep breath.

It's finally getting to the point where I am actually feeling the changes happening. Even though my mind knows they are going to happen, my emotions have not quite caught up yet... Until today. I have less than two weeks left in Sacramento before the island adventure begins. That means less than two more weeks of my coffee shops, my family, my friends that live right down the street, my car, my Bo Jangles, my own bed, my yoga kula, my EVERYTHING! Magpie and their amazing lunches and cookies. 58 Degrees and their half glasses of wine and smiling staff. Tapas and their late night snacks. All the things I am familiar with will soon be out of tangible reach, unless I hop over the Pacific.

MY things are no longer going to be MY things. This brings me to my point for the evening. NOTHING I THINK IS MINE IS MINE!! And since nothing is mine, nothing is yours. Or his. Or hers. Or theirs. Even when you have babies, they are not yours. When you own a business, it is not yours. They are a separate entity that stands alone, along side you and everyone else. It's all impermanent. It all could be gone in a matter of moments. If you have ever moved or lost something that seemed to be yours, again, I am preaching to the choir. It is however, a really really scary feeling to come to that realization. But, once we get past the initial shock of the truth of the matter, its quite relieving. Peace can start to set in. Worry starts to fall off of the shoulders. We soften. The journey continues....

Like I said in the beginning, this sh*t is not easy. We can run around all day long and say these things that sound new-age-y and heavenly, but what are they without practice? This is the yoga. This is where we join our words with our actions. Where we trust, soften and breathe. In my case, this is where I let go and let the wave take me to whatever beach I am supposed to land on. I let go of Old Soul decaf soy cappuccinos with the perfect foam on top. I let go of Patrick coming over to walk Bo in the mornings. I let go of the 15 minute drive to the parent's house. I let go of my regular yoga classes that I teach and take with the faces I love so much.

It's all not mine. If it was, it would be coming with me, but it's not. To think that it's mine is an illusion of the mind. If we are to be honest with ourselves on this path (satya=truthfulness and it is included in the path), we must come to this realization. People, places, things. Not ours. They are their own. In one sense, the egoic sense, it's kinda disappointing especially if you have put so much love and energy into these things. To loosen the grip is not easy. To realize their independence is tough. It's sooooooo common for us to think and act this way. If you feel this way about anything, you are not alone. There is good news though. Keep reading....

Realizing things are not yours can be empowering. How would you feel if your love and energy for 'your' things made them stronger and happier? If your intention is to give rather than get? Does that feel better or worse? You decide. Is it easy to remove the ego far enough to see it that way? Of course not. Did I say it would be easy? Hell no I did not. Does that mean we don't get to share this life with anything or anyone else? No way. But when we share from a distance, it's more loving. When we give solely to improve the things around us, we don't expect anything back. Therefore, we don't get disappointed. We are empowered. We feel good about ourselves knowing we are coming from a good place. And really, we are the only ones that can make ourselves feel that way. Friends and lovers help point it out, but we must know for ourselves first and foremost. If we don't know it yet, I suggest practicing now. Not sure how to practice? Stop for a moment, be silent, soften your body and your mind, and wait until you hear even a whisper of the truth within you. It's the one thing that is yours. Seek it. Find it. It will bring you more peace and happiness. I've tasted it. I've sat down to dinner with that peace. Did it get up and leave? Yes, sir it did. But did it, and will it visit again? Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.