I've been going through this shift lately where I feel like for once in my life I can really take a step back from myself, other people and situations and have actually been able to see things for what they are. In any kind of spiritual practice, we explore this idea and try to practice it, and maybe get glimpses of it here and there, but for a few days now I'm seeing it all really clearly. The interesting part is that it all looks really freaking good! Kind of reminds me of this little lady....
I can never get over that video. She's amazing.
My point is that when we can see things for what they are, we can see the innate goodness they have to offer and why they are showing up in our lives. This applies to people that we love and those that challenge us- the whole spectrum. The ones we love offer us comfort and joy while the ones that challenge us offer us insight into the reasons why we don't immediately love them. What heart-string are they plucking that doesn't resonate inside as beautifully? The same goes for situations.
On a personal note, it's been interesting to get different reactions about Mr. P and my relationship split. To be honest, I LOVE our breakup!! It has been a truly amazing experience for the both of us. We have gotten to show each other love and support even though we are heading separate ways. I absolutely love Patrick for having the guts to call it quits and let me go out into the world to explore! Yes of course it hurt for a few days. Yes of course there were enough tears to fill a bathtub. It doesn't mean he's no longer in my life-- we were able to enjoy some Spicy Tofu and Praram together tonight! It's all just another challenge to me that has open my eyes to some darkness. Now the light can shine again, for the both of us! It's such a freeing experience. I hope this can be a testament to the fact that it can be done for anyone else going through the same thing.
One chapter ends and the next begins. You just have to be willing to trust the story always ends up with your best interest in mind. Really, it does. Even when it comes time to die. It's inevitable and beautiful. If we can take a far enough step back, and just imagine every living being on the planet as a little christmas light, this might make sense. The lights brighten and dim throughout the course of their lives. They travel, spin and float. They come together and disperse. New ones are born and others die out. It's like a divine dance conducted so beautifully that it's hard to take your eyes off of it. And really, who doesn't like to look at christmas lights?? Of course you do!!!!
Since I have been blessed with open eyes lately, and the pages of my book keep turning, a human angel has appeared and has been helping to point out something foreign to me- the beauty of solitude. This angel has seemed to master the subject, so my student eyes are willing to soak up the lesson. My whole life I have been a busy, busy bee. This past week I have been left with no boyfriend and no job. The money tree in my back yard has shed all of its leaves just like the others. I'm left with ample time to be with me- a thing that I have always been afraid of. This time, I'm finding comfort in the quiet. I like the buzz of silence. I'm loving calm nights, warm baths and dinner alone. The keyboard is now my friend instead of my enemy. It's perfect. Hawaii will be similar. I'm glad I'm getting the training in now in the comfort of home, where I can still walk to the coffee shop in the morning and see ten people I know before going on with my day. The divine dance is taking place right now!! This little light came into my life to shine brightly on a dark place for me. I see the light, and my perspective changes. Again, it's perfect.
And so the pages of the book keep turning. Needless to say, I am excited to keep reading. To see where the storyline goes next. To see what new characters are introduced. To see how the setting evolves. Evolution on a micro-level, my friends. Pay close attention. It could get interesting for you too.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Lion's Breathe!
Inhale.... Exhale- Lion's breathe! Raaaaaaaaaaawwwwwrrrrrr! Mmmm hmmm that feels better!
Lion's breathe. My saviour anytime I am anxious, nervous and scared. Also whenever I am excited, thrilled and relieved. Oh how I have been all of those emotions in the past 72 hours.
Since we last spoke, Mr. Keyboard (and all of you who are listening), the roller coaster ride has gotten pretty tipsy turvy with unexpected turns and quick corners. And I wouldn't have it any other way!! This ride called LIFE is pretty freaking amazing. All of the twists and turns just make it more interesting. So lets recap the last few days....
Spent two nights with some old and new friends sharing wine, laughter, tears, laughter and tears at the same time, stories about life, fabulous talks about spirituality and the human race-- my call was answered from my last post. There are people out there that get it! Thank you, God!! The universe answered so quickly, I couldn't even believe it! I still can't.... but thank you. Seriously, in all the ways I was hoping to get some more faith, I got it. It showed up. In my friends, in acquaintances and in complete strangers. So good. SO good.
My friends were able to show me unconditional love and let me know they have my back whenever I feel like I am falling. That's a good feeling. They were also able to speak some of their own truth to me and I was able to hear them-- again, a good feeling. A few acquaintances turned from a "Hey, how you doin?" type of thing to a "Why haven't we hung out more often?!?!?" type of connection. This is what has given me more faith. People I already sorta-kinda knew get it! I just had to open my eyes and realize they were right at my fingertips. Lastly, strangers have shown up at my door looking for a snowboard they heard from a mutual friend that I was selling. I sold my board, bindings and pants tonight to complete strangers- now acquaintances. How rad is that?? I didn't even have to go looking for them- they came to me! Again, ask and you shall receive.
I also got a chance to speak my truth and follow it up with some graceful action and integrity. Sunday night was the last time I had to step foot into the restaurant I worked at and didn't feel good about supporting. I don't know if it's appropriate for me to share this kind of information on my blog, but once again, it's my truth- and it's my blog. :) The food is great, don't get me wrong. The service is good and my co-workers are cool. I like most of them and believe they are good human beings. The management on the other hand... (how do I say this with grace)... is a little wacky. The bottom line is that when you run a business you have to love what you do. You have to know that this is your life's work and believe in that work. For when you work with love, you are doing the Earth's intended work for you. I think out of the two-person mgmt team, only 50% of them fit in that box. You also need to get some help and not stretch yourself too thin- that will take a toll on ANY person. More importantly, you have to be able to connect with people and take a chill pill when necessary. There is a time and a place to get worked up about things that bother you and that place is not in the middle of a restaurant dining room with guests surrounding you. And MOST importantly, you have to be able to communicate!!! With yourself, with your employees and with your customers. This respectful communication is totally lacking in that place, and I'm not the only one that feels that way. I'm not talking shit, I'm simply stating the facts. All in all, if you want good food, you can go there and get it. If you want to support a local business who happens to put out good food but treats their employees unfairly and has a hard time keeping it together, you can go there and get that too. You just won't be going there with me. :) So that's that. I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I walked out Sunday night with a smile on my face feeling good about the closing of that door. One more door closed to make room for more doors that are waiting to be opened.
I have three weeks left in Sacramento before I am Maui bound. I'm excited for all of the free time I have now to spend with my friends and family. I know the ride is only going to get more exciting and am having such a good time watching how it all is ending up. My movie is quite interesting, I must say.
The chamomile tea is kicking in... Nighty night ya'll. One last lion's breathe before I go..... Raaawwwrrrr, so good.
Lion's breathe. My saviour anytime I am anxious, nervous and scared. Also whenever I am excited, thrilled and relieved. Oh how I have been all of those emotions in the past 72 hours.
Since we last spoke, Mr. Keyboard (and all of you who are listening), the roller coaster ride has gotten pretty tipsy turvy with unexpected turns and quick corners. And I wouldn't have it any other way!! This ride called LIFE is pretty freaking amazing. All of the twists and turns just make it more interesting. So lets recap the last few days....
Spent two nights with some old and new friends sharing wine, laughter, tears, laughter and tears at the same time, stories about life, fabulous talks about spirituality and the human race-- my call was answered from my last post. There are people out there that get it! Thank you, God!! The universe answered so quickly, I couldn't even believe it! I still can't.... but thank you. Seriously, in all the ways I was hoping to get some more faith, I got it. It showed up. In my friends, in acquaintances and in complete strangers. So good. SO good.
My friends were able to show me unconditional love and let me know they have my back whenever I feel like I am falling. That's a good feeling. They were also able to speak some of their own truth to me and I was able to hear them-- again, a good feeling. A few acquaintances turned from a "Hey, how you doin?" type of thing to a "Why haven't we hung out more often?!?!?" type of connection. This is what has given me more faith. People I already sorta-kinda knew get it! I just had to open my eyes and realize they were right at my fingertips. Lastly, strangers have shown up at my door looking for a snowboard they heard from a mutual friend that I was selling. I sold my board, bindings and pants tonight to complete strangers- now acquaintances. How rad is that?? I didn't even have to go looking for them- they came to me! Again, ask and you shall receive.
I also got a chance to speak my truth and follow it up with some graceful action and integrity. Sunday night was the last time I had to step foot into the restaurant I worked at and didn't feel good about supporting. I don't know if it's appropriate for me to share this kind of information on my blog, but once again, it's my truth- and it's my blog. :) The food is great, don't get me wrong. The service is good and my co-workers are cool. I like most of them and believe they are good human beings. The management on the other hand... (how do I say this with grace)... is a little wacky. The bottom line is that when you run a business you have to love what you do. You have to know that this is your life's work and believe in that work. For when you work with love, you are doing the Earth's intended work for you. I think out of the two-person mgmt team, only 50% of them fit in that box. You also need to get some help and not stretch yourself too thin- that will take a toll on ANY person. More importantly, you have to be able to connect with people and take a chill pill when necessary. There is a time and a place to get worked up about things that bother you and that place is not in the middle of a restaurant dining room with guests surrounding you. And MOST importantly, you have to be able to communicate!!! With yourself, with your employees and with your customers. This respectful communication is totally lacking in that place, and I'm not the only one that feels that way. I'm not talking shit, I'm simply stating the facts. All in all, if you want good food, you can go there and get it. If you want to support a local business who happens to put out good food but treats their employees unfairly and has a hard time keeping it together, you can go there and get that too. You just won't be going there with me. :) So that's that. I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I walked out Sunday night with a smile on my face feeling good about the closing of that door. One more door closed to make room for more doors that are waiting to be opened.
I have three weeks left in Sacramento before I am Maui bound. I'm excited for all of the free time I have now to spend with my friends and family. I know the ride is only going to get more exciting and am having such a good time watching how it all is ending up. My movie is quite interesting, I must say.
The chamomile tea is kicking in... Nighty night ya'll. One last lion's breathe before I go..... Raaawwwrrrr, so good.
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