Sandboxes and Clouds

So I'm trying REALLY hard to not get caught up in the beauty of this place and leave you all high and dry with no information on my whereabouts, insights and experiences. But, trust me on this one, it's tough. Maui makes it easy to get sucked in to a sloooooow pace. One where nothing reeeally matters except soaking up some sun and taking deep breaths all the way down to your toes so you can drink some of the prana she has to offer. She gives it freely to you, you just have to be willing to accept the tasty-ness of her with grace, and after you have taken your drink, offer gratitude for allowing her to quench your thirst.

Never have I been more full.

This weekend, I have had the great pleasure of beginning the Anusara Immersion that is happening... well, 15 minutes from my house in a beautiful home with a yoga studio inside that faces the ocean. Today, we were practicing and the teacher, Skeeter, decided it was more important to watch the whale that was dancing on the waters right in front of us. We agreed. That, along with the rainbow that greeted us right before practice, along with the depth of knowledge our teachers contain, along with the welcoming kula has made my heart so warm and soft. I STILL find myself asking if this place is even real. And Why am I so lucky to have gotten all of these majestic opportunities? Regardless of the answer, I am grateful. Overly grateful. To the point where I feel I should always be seeking a way to repay the gifts I have received.

I do remember a time in my life where this wasn't the case. My afflictions where too heavy and cloudy to allow for space and clarity to flow in. Granted, I am in paradise, but I do think this state of mind is possible for anyone, anywhere to sink into. Its a shift in perspective and perception.

This immersion program is a good reminder of the real practice of yoga for me- it has helped me to shift juuuust enough. We were asked to think about our own definitions of yoga and freedom. To me, freedom is being unbound and unrestricted in our experience of the laws of nature in their purest form. Yoga joins us with this freedom. We are also talking about the lila, the play, of concealment and revelation. Daaaang. Let that sink in..... The PLAY of being cloudy, concealed and getting clear, revealed to the object in question. I'm sure we have all had those moments when the clouds break and we see things a bit more clearly. Then we forget, get cloudy again, then clear. The play. The dance between the opposites. So beautiful. And the best part!: we will continue to do this our whole entire lives. We will all always, everywhere, all the time be playing in the sandbox. Some times we will be deep down under the sand where the heavy clay rests. Other times we will be on top of the highest slide. Most of the time though, we will be somewhere in the middle, on the monkey bars. Where it gets good is where we can see clearly and focus in on what we are playing with at the very moment. Which part of the sandbox are we in, and how interested can we get?

Ahhhhh good stuff. Off to dinner with the fam. ALOHA, my friends!!!

Is this even real??!!?

Oh man. Where do I even start?? It's been 3 days since my plane touched down in Maui, aka paradise (and YES, I can honestly say 'they' were right- this place is paradise.) I'm sitting on the lanai overlooking the ocean right now and feel like my fingertips can no longer smoothly skate over the keyboard. I'm speechless. The beauty of Mama Maui unfolds her expansive wings to you and wraps you up tight in her warm arms. The best part: I don't want her to let go. I feel like for once, I am home. Home within myself. So comfortable, calm and open. All the teachings I have learned over the past 25 years are making more sense. The experience is happening and finally putting something tangible to the words and thoughts. Not to say teachings haven't sunk in deeply before, but big picture is as clear as well, a beautiful day in Maui! The shakti is overwhelmingly present and the insights are countless.

Trust. Soften. Breathe. 

This mantra comes back to me once again. On day two, I read my last blog post. I couldn't even believe I wrote what I did. I asked, "Who is that girl??" Who was the girl that was afraid and nervous to come to this island because she was leaving her coffee shop and friends and family and apartment?? Trusting has been like second nature to me here. There is nothing to be worried about! It's like all my worries got washed away the second I jumped into the deep blue waves that crashed on the first beach we arrived on. Since then, everything has fallen into place. Everything. 

After jumping in the ocean, Maureen took me to a Kombucha bar in Haiku. LOVE, Love, LOVE! We pulled up and the first thing I noticed was a local dude with a street bike. Thank God! You mean I can actually ride here?? I don't need bike lanes?? Ahhhhh sigh of relief. We pulled some seats up to the bar and the juice started flowing... first a fruity mango taster, then a mint cacao, then a gingery splash. All three fresh, homemade kombuchas equally amazing. Again, thank you God! The stories go on and on- hour and a half rainbows, fresh fruits, being able to make out the voices in the wind (no joke- the first night I heard my name in the wind. Melissa heard it too. Freaked me out, but it makes sense). Everything perfectly as it should be- welcoming me with seemingly open arms. Trust. Then we know what comes next....

Soften. Mmmmmmm soften into her arms. (Her is the island, btw. You might have to come visit me to know what I mean.) It's a perfect balance between the masculine and feminine. The power is here- you can feel it. The male energy of strength, assertiveness and stability. But she also allows you to lay down under her sun and be comforted, soothed and held. We took a drive to Kihei- did some yoga in the park, soaked up good food and conversation and the largest rainbow I have ever seen. It lasted for an hour and a half and its brilliance was breathtaking. It was as if it was a portal into another dimension. We could see the beginning from the ocean to the end at the base of Haleakala. It beauty is never-ending here, and it has softened me deep down towards my bones.... 

Aaahhhhhhhh breathe. My breaths are deeper and longer. The features of my face are less tense. Lion's breath has not been a part of my breath cycle since I got off the plane. With the spaciousness of the island comes awareness of the space between the space. The details of the trees and the water and each other become more interesting. I am able to focus in on what it in front of me, and at the same time, what is surrounding me for miles and miles. Deep breaths only deepen the awareness, which leaves room for so much more expansion.

Needless to say, I am not nervous or scared anymore. I am happy, peaceful and at home. I AM trusting, softening into her and breathing as deeply as needed. "Is it even real?!?", I've asked myself from moment to moment.... Ohhhhh yes. Yes. Completely. 

Off to the beach to soak her up.... I'll be in touch soon. Sending love from here to where ever you are. Aloha!

PS. I'm jumping into an Anusara Immersion this weekend. Truly amazing. More to come about this experience soon....