Oh man!! How time flies when you have two jobs, car problems, are meeting new people, traveling back into past lives, teaching yoga, getting your physical body happy again and trying to plan a fundraiser that is across the ocean from you! Whew! Many times I have thought, "I need to write about this!! This is some good stuff!!", but I'm usually so tired by the time I lay my head on my pillow that stringing sentences together almost seem impossible.
Now, it is morning. I am alert, but hungry. Wait. I just had an idea. I'm gonna go make a smoothie and be back....
Ahhhh much better. Blackberries, strawberries, organic applesauce, almond milk and super seed. Breakfast delight.
Ok. So. I can list all the events that have taken place (some more significant than others), but the most interesting stories I can tell are the ones that are coming from within. I recently started reading the Bhagavad Gita for the first time and its parallels quite deeply with my experiences as of late: internal battles and choosing the righteous path rather than the one that will 'please' others in the face of external turmoil. What I mean by 'righteous' is what is true. What is right for the moment. What feels good to you and you know that if you told your mother that you did said act or thought said thought, she would be proud.
Now, you can wonder how in the world I can be having turmoil while living in one of the most breathtaking places on Earth, right? My only answer to that is that no matter where you go, you are always there. No matter if you are in Maui or Sacramento or a cave in the Himalayan mountains, YOU are always there. You and your wants, needs, thoughts, behaviors, habits, temperament, likes and dislikes. What I have learned over the past few weeks, if anything at all, is simply this: You are always you at the core of your being amongst change, growth and exploration of all that was previously mentioned and all you can do is get quite and listen to your truth. No amount of counseling, acupuncture, spiritual gab, magnet work, body work, tapping or whatever else we can make up these days to "refine" who we are at this moment in time is sufficient enough to make us truly at peace. Yes, do yoga or exercise and pamper your body. Yes, eat a healthy, well-balanced diet with little amounts of processed foods and sugars, toxins, etc. Yes, stay away from harmful drugs. Yes, create a community for yourself. One where you can feel completely open to be authentically you in the company of others. And yes, create a connection with a power greater then yourself so when you are alone, stuck on the side of the road at 10:30pm in the country/jungle/forest and there is a cane spider crawling toward you from your dashboard, you can pray to God that you make it through the moment alive as you jump to the passenger seat while the car is still going and reach your foot over to the driver's side, press the break so you can stop the car, climb out and over the hood and put the emergency flashers on while you stand in the middle of the road and pray and pray and pray that someone comes and is kind enough to stop and help you find the spider. (True story). Five minutes later, a car stopped and a nice young man offered to drive me home then walk back home so I didn't have to sit in the driver's seat again that night. People in Maui are SO INCREDIBLY kind. Thank God.
So, yes. Do all of those things!! However, that looks for you, do it. The rest is simply a distraction and is adding to the 'story bank' of I'm not good enough or If only I could clear this chakra just a liiiiiittle more, I will be all better! We want so many answers from other people all of the time, but I truly believe we all have our own answers within. The hard part for most of us is getting quite enough for long enough to listen. This is meditation. This is awareness practice. This is getting closer to the truth. Because when we REALLY want to know the real truth, it will be revealed to us. It's not always pretty!! It's not always what we want in the moment. And it will only be revealed to us when the universe knows we are strong enough to handle the truth. Only then, will it become beautiful. (Notice the difference between pretty and beautiful). Pretty seems, well, attractive. Beautiful is more whole. Almost like a radiant, glowing light of truth. Being 'pretty' is no longer my objective. I'm over it. I'm more interested in embodying beauty. It feels like the more righteous path- and even more raw. What's past the clothes and shoes and makeup and hair. What's in there?? Where's the light? Know what I mean?? Let's go there. It may be a more treacherous path, but I think it's worth it.
Through all of my adventures these past few weeks, I feel as if Krishna has been riding the waves with me as he does for Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita. I ask him questions when I need to, but most of the time, he just gives me the look. The one that says, "Anna, get quite. Listen to what feels true. Do that. No questions about it. Listen, then follow that voice. It's probably right." So far, it's been pretty right on the money. Interesting....
Sacramento, I will see you March 9th! On the 12th I will be holding a fundraiser for the Africa Yoga Project at Ashamy people I miss so much and teaching Cori's classes at Asha while she is in Mexico, then back to Maui. As for the rest of the world, I will see you when I see you!
