Deep breath in from the bottom of your belly...... Hold it at the top underneath the collarbones.... Exhale. Let it all go with a biiiiiiiiiig sigh of relief. Then the corners of your lips turn upward and you can feel a sense of weightlessness. (If it didn't play out like that for you, close your eyes and try again until it happens.) :)
Someone asked me the other day if I had done my yoga practice for the day yet. My response was yes even though I did not do one downward-facing dog or forward fold in the hours between sunrise and the time of that question. Asana practice is one form of yoga; living life is another. My response was to the latter. I believe most of us go through life in a semi-unconscious or completely unconscious state. My reason for believing this to be true is supported by my interactions with others that, in a perfect world, where we ALL were completely paying attention to what we are doing, saying and thinking, we would be more loving and compassionate toward one another. The cashier would look at you in your eyes. The surfer would smile back when you smile at them as you both are showering off after getting out of the water. The person sitting next to you at the restaurant would not be afraid to ask you how your dinner is tasting tonight. Maybe those aren't the best examples, but it's the little things that make up the whole. So if the little things like that are misfiring, then the whole will too.
These experiences, as well as the ones I have in solitude, when it's just me and my actions, words and thoughts give me hope. The hope stems from the idea that because we are not fully realized beings yet, we still function (quite well) in a semi-conscious state. Some people even do in an unconscious state. And because we are still functioning, we have room for growth- as individuals and as a collective. If we can zoom waaaay out and pretend we are the stars looking down upon all the living beings that are buzzing together, we could see the beauty in Today.
Today, we are trying. I honestly think so. Or I guess at least I hope so. We are taught to always look for the Highest in all. That doesn't mean we have to love everything. That's almost impossible, right? If I really don't like to eat a steak, I can honor the fact that I choose not to love it or even like it. But, I can love the cow. Or I can appreciate that someone else is getting some amount of joy out of eating a steak, because then the more joy they have, the more we can enjoy each other when we cross paths.
My point here is that I think we are starting to wake up. I think it has been happening for years, and now in 2011, it is getting more intense. Maybe I feel it because I am surrounded by nature and let me tell you- that shit is powerful. I feel it each waking hour. Maybe even in my sleep too. My dreams have been pretty wild. Or maybe I feel it because I am devoting myself to a path or discovery and revelation, so when I see it in myself, I see it in others too. The light is shining brighter on the subject.
This past weekend, I was reminded of the yamas and niyamas. These are ethical codes of behavior towards ourselves and others. There are five of each and a few days ago, I decided to focus on one at a time for an entire month. So, each one for two or three days. The first was ahimsa: non-harming, non-violence in our actions, words, thoughts. Dang. Imagine if for just a day, we focused in sooo closely on where this plays out in our lives and each time something happened where our mind said "Wait, I think maybe that was harmful," we got a chance to see it, to bring awareness to it. TRY IT!!!! Just a warning: It may change your life.
My second point is this: we don't study yoga to get our foot behind our head. We study so our whole life, not just our hip, gets more flexible and open. I encourage you to take a look at ahimsa for the week. Really devote yourself to the practice of just watching your interactions. Are they harming you? Are they harming someone else? What kinds of thoughts do you think? Kind? Encouraging? Mean? Jealous? It's practices like this that are going to change your individual consciousness and contribute to the growth of the collective. The stars will continue to smile as they look down on us and see that we are really trying. I will smile too with the seed of hope in my heart that will blossom into a giant hibiscus plant- each flower being uniquely beautiful in color, shape and size. Like those flowers you can trip out on because they have such intricate detail that could keep your senses busy for at least 20 minutes. (I feel like that's a good amount of time to spend a flower in order to appreciate it fully- give or take a few moments). Yet all together, the plant forms a kind of beauty that will make your head turn as you drive down the highway when you see the bursts of colors within the deep green leaves.
Aloha from Maui!!
PS. I will be going on a digital detox next week. From the 17th-24th. I will check my phone in the morning... 7am my time, and in the evening... 7pm my time. No facebook. No blogging. It's gonna be wild, I'm sure. So I will write down my experiences and thoughts with
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The pendulum.
I cant help but to recall the internal voices who were calling to me before I left for Maui. They talked like I talk. With enthusiasm, fire and yet enough sweetness to make the heat seem unassuming, as if the words really didn't matter. But once you reflect on them, the weight is upon your shoulders just like a small child is when the world seems so vast above Daddy's eye-level. Heavy enough to make the muscles work, but not heavy enough to burden your skeleton.
One of the voices I heard loud and clear before I left was one who preached solitude. Today, I had a chance to ask a pendulum for guidance on this subject. Low and behold, the answer remains in clear agreeance with the voice. (Is agreeance a word? Spell check is saying no.) Either way, the pendulum supports the voice and vice-versa. Deep breathe in, lion's breath out.
What??!?! Me!?!?! Anna?!?! You want ME to be in solitude for 'x' amount of time? Like, for more than a minute? For a few days, maybe weeks, maybe months, dare I say years? Ugh. Ok, ok. I give in-- hesitantly. I get it. I get that its a good lesson to learn. I get that I am 25 and need to experience this virtue to its fullest. I get that when you experience emptiness than even the greeting of the morning sun becomes good company. I do. I get it intellectually, but emotionally, mentally, physically, I can truly say I have not REALLY been there. I've always had a friend to lean on, or a male distraction/form of entertainment to fix my eyes upon. A car to run errands so I can at least be around people. A coffee shop or bar to see ten people I know at at any given time.
Maybe this is what the locals mean when Maui gives you tests to take, and its not that she "takes you in or spits you out", but rather, can you stand up to the test of yourself? Can you face yourself in the middle of this place that has the power to put you in touch with your deepest Spirit? Can you clean off the dirt enough to look into the mirror in front of you and be willing to meet your lips with the lips of your reflection? Ultimately, can you love yourself just as you are. No makeup, fancy accessories, no other person to tell you how wonderful you are. No car to escape far away, no nothing. Just you, yourself and the natural elements that surround you- that wrap you up in banana leaves, smear aloe on your skin and warm you with the sun that stretches between the places where the ocean meets the sky. That, and cane spiders. The entire shri-filled spectrum of her gifts. Can you handle it, she asks?
Trust. Soften. (Maybe cry, maybe smile.) Breathe.
It's the deep breathe before the plunge. My test, I am foreseeing, is to see just how far down I can go. How much dirt can I clean off, and how many possessions I can survive in the jungle without? What tools do I keep near and dear to me and which ones am I willing to let go of to take some of the weight off while I continue to crawl (and sometimes leap) forward? Not easy! For me, terrifying at times-- the kind where you feel it from your skin to muscle and muscle to bone. The kind that makes you gasp for fresh air even if you know that air can only fill one lung.
It feels heavy. I'm willing to bear the weight right now. Simply because the gift that is in near sight is more and more liberation-- freedom. Sweet, nectarian freedom. Freedom from possessions, others and the self. Then, once I let go enough for it to take its course, once the lesson reaches its peak, I can know I am getting closer to that nectar. Friends will become something I hold like I would a newborn baby. Lovers will become Gods. Family will become stone pillars that wouldn't break even in the midst of the largest earthquake. And the self will be able to shine it's light like a firefly.
This, my friends, is a high calling. If you hear the voice inside, answer to it. Do your 'self' the favor. Crawl upon the jungle floor towards the beaches of Hana. Liberate.
One of the voices I heard loud and clear before I left was one who preached solitude. Today, I had a chance to ask a pendulum for guidance on this subject. Low and behold, the answer remains in clear agreeance with the voice. (Is agreeance a word? Spell check is saying no.) Either way, the pendulum supports the voice and vice-versa. Deep breathe in, lion's breath out.
What??!?! Me!?!?! Anna?!?! You want ME to be in solitude for 'x' amount of time? Like, for more than a minute? For a few days, maybe weeks, maybe months, dare I say years? Ugh. Ok, ok. I give in-- hesitantly. I get it. I get that its a good lesson to learn. I get that I am 25 and need to experience this virtue to its fullest. I get that when you experience emptiness than even the greeting of the morning sun becomes good company. I do. I get it intellectually, but emotionally, mentally, physically, I can truly say I have not REALLY been there. I've always had a friend to lean on, or a male distraction/form of entertainment to fix my eyes upon. A car to run errands so I can at least be around people. A coffee shop or bar to see ten people I know at at any given time.
Maybe this is what the locals mean when Maui gives you tests to take, and its not that she "takes you in or spits you out", but rather, can you stand up to the test of yourself? Can you face yourself in the middle of this place that has the power to put you in touch with your deepest Spirit? Can you clean off the dirt enough to look into the mirror in front of you and be willing to meet your lips with the lips of your reflection? Ultimately, can you love yourself just as you are. No makeup, fancy accessories, no other person to tell you how wonderful you are. No car to escape far away, no nothing. Just you, yourself and the natural elements that surround you- that wrap you up in banana leaves, smear aloe on your skin and warm you with the sun that stretches between the places where the ocean meets the sky. That, and cane spiders. The entire shri-filled spectrum of her gifts. Can you handle it, she asks?
Trust. Soften. (Maybe cry, maybe smile.) Breathe.
It's the deep breathe before the plunge. My test, I am foreseeing, is to see just how far down I can go. How much dirt can I clean off, and how many possessions I can survive in the jungle without? What tools do I keep near and dear to me and which ones am I willing to let go of to take some of the weight off while I continue to crawl (and sometimes leap) forward? Not easy! For me, terrifying at times-- the kind where you feel it from your skin to muscle and muscle to bone. The kind that makes you gasp for fresh air even if you know that air can only fill one lung.
It feels heavy. I'm willing to bear the weight right now. Simply because the gift that is in near sight is more and more liberation-- freedom. Sweet, nectarian freedom. Freedom from possessions, others and the self. Then, once I let go enough for it to take its course, once the lesson reaches its peak, I can know I am getting closer to that nectar. Friends will become something I hold like I would a newborn baby. Lovers will become Gods. Family will become stone pillars that wouldn't break even in the midst of the largest earthquake. And the self will be able to shine it's light like a firefly.
This, my friends, is a high calling. If you hear the voice inside, answer to it. Do your 'self' the favor. Crawl upon the jungle floor towards the beaches of Hana. Liberate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)