Aloha, my family. I call you my family because you are, even if you don't think you are. We all came from the same mommy and daddy millions of years ago, right? It's just been so long that we, as people, have created separation because we are spread all over the globe and we have different skin colors and last names.
I know its been a while since I have gotten a chance to sit down and write to you. Maui life has taken me for a lengthy roller coaster ride. The cool thing about this ride is that the tracks are super smooth. Not to say there hasn't been loop-de-loops and twists, but as upside-down and sideways as they are taking me, I am finding the laughter and joy in each turn. Oh man how refreshing it is.
A few weeks before I left for Maui, I was out and about one night and ran into a friend who knew Patrick better than he knew me. Said friend is one of those people that always tells it like it is, especially if a few drinks are a part of the picture. I specifically remember the last line of our conversation. It goes like this:
"Anna, when I first met you, you had TONS of shine!! You lit up the Co-op when you walked in! Where the f*ck did that go?!?! Get your *ss to Maui and get your shine back, girl!! GO!"
At the time it seemed harsh. I think I even cried that night. He was right!! Cold, hard truth. As much as I don't want to admit it. :) My light was diminished with expectations and confusion. I was starving for a life that was different from my reality and couldn't for the freaking life of me, let it go! Theoretically, I knew it had to be done, but as I was immersed waist-deep in the quicksand, my legs had no power. It took an act of God to fish me out of that sinking hole. I had a picture painted of what I thought I wanted out of life; what things should look like. What I have learned over the past two months is that I don't know if I want any of those things anymore. At least not right now. THAT, my ohana, is a relief. Ahhhhhhh.....
I think when I get back to Sacramento in a few days, I am going to find that man and thank him.
Tonight is the Hindu celebration of Maha Shivaratri. The night of Shiva. It is said that on this 13th moon when the light is the darkest, our prayers and mantras will be magnified 10,000 times! Holy shit! The darkness allows the mind to return into the depths of creation- the beginning. This quietness leads us closer to our heart-space- the truth of who we are. As we enter into the new moon with the coming of new light, those desires that lie deep within our hearts have the chance to be heard loud and clear. Notice the difference between internal and external desires. The external is like, "Well of course I desire a new BMW instead of the old one that I bought on Maui and needs a new head gasket." The internal is like, "I desire to be able to get around the island." Or maybe it's like this...
External: If only I could have more money so I can get a new bathing suit so I don't feel silly when I where the same one to the beach every day.
Internal: If only I can be free to experience the power of the ocean while I lie on the beach regardless of what I am wearing (or not wearing).
See the difference?? The heart-space hold the truth of each experience without judgement and expectation.
Tonight, if you choose to reflect on what you truly desire through meditation, writing, chanting, singing, surfing, whatever helps you get closer to you, find that space that holds the truth. Sit with it. Even visualize it. Manifest it within you so that the external world has a clear idea of what it needs to provide. Once you are clear, it WILL present itself. This is not some hippy-dippy shit I am talking about. It's truth. Need another example?? Here you go.... True story:
I've been working at Penguini, a cutey little cafe in Paia, for the past month and a half. Ya it's cool. Because of that job I have gotten more in touch with cooking and have met TONS of amazing people and connections. However, before I came to Maui, I had the intention of coming to teach yoga and spread the love. I haven't been doing much teaching for the simple reason that I have needed to feel out the scene before jumping in feet first. Now, I have a pretty good grasp of what is going on. Last week, I decided that when I get back from Sacramento, I am making it happen here teaching private yoga lessons. I know I can do it- I have no worries about making the transition toward working for myself. I'm actually STOKED about it. :) So, I set the intention. Cool. I got straight with myself about what I want. Cool. The other night while in Lahaina, I was walking by a tourist information booth when a man ran out with excitement asking about my tattoo. We got lost in conversation and discovered that we could be useful to each other. I want to teach yoga. He owns a business that markets mind/body/spirit activities to tourists and needs good yoga teachers to send his clients to. Great. Done and done. Ask and you shall receive.
Om Namah Shivaya!! May all of your thoughts get quiet and clear. May your heart space open to possibility. May your prayers be answered. Tonight holds so much power. Cherish it. It will open you to the flow of grace in your life- internally and externally.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Get Quiet. Get Raw. Get Beautiful.
Oh man!! How time flies when you have two jobs, car problems, are meeting new people, traveling back into past lives, teaching yoga, getting your physical body happy again and trying to plan a fundraiser that is across the ocean from you! Whew! Many times I have thought, "I need to write about this!! This is some good stuff!!", but I'm usually so tired by the time I lay my head on my pillow that stringing sentences together almost seem impossible.
Now, it is morning. I am alert, but hungry. Wait. I just had an idea. I'm gonna go make a smoothie and be back....
Ahhhh much better. Blackberries, strawberries, organic applesauce, almond milk and super seed. Breakfast delight.
Ok. So. I can list all the events that have taken place (some more significant than others), but the most interesting stories I can tell are the ones that are coming from within. I recently started reading the Bhagavad Gita for the first time and its parallels quite deeply with my experiences as of late: internal battles and choosing the righteous path rather than the one that will 'please' others in the face of external turmoil. What I mean by 'righteous' is what is true. What is right for the moment. What feels good to you and you know that if you told your mother that you did said act or thought said thought, she would be proud.
Now, you can wonder how in the world I can be having turmoil while living in one of the most breathtaking places on Earth, right? My only answer to that is that no matter where you go, you are always there. No matter if you are in Maui or Sacramento or a cave in the Himalayan mountains, YOU are always there. You and your wants, needs, thoughts, behaviors, habits, temperament, likes and dislikes. What I have learned over the past few weeks, if anything at all, is simply this: You are always you at the core of your being amongst change, growth and exploration of all that was previously mentioned and all you can do is get quite and listen to your truth. No amount of counseling, acupuncture, spiritual gab, magnet work, body work, tapping or whatever else we can make up these days to "refine" who we are at this moment in time is sufficient enough to make us truly at peace. Yes, do yoga or exercise and pamper your body. Yes, eat a healthy, well-balanced diet with little amounts of processed foods and sugars, toxins, etc. Yes, stay away from harmful drugs. Yes, create a community for yourself. One where you can feel completely open to be authentically you in the company of others. And yes, create a connection with a power greater then yourself so when you are alone, stuck on the side of the road at 10:30pm in the country/jungle/forest and there is a cane spider crawling toward you from your dashboard, you can pray to God that you make it through the moment alive as you jump to the passenger seat while the car is still going and reach your foot over to the driver's side, press the break so you can stop the car, climb out and over the hood and put the emergency flashers on while you stand in the middle of the road and pray and pray and pray that someone comes and is kind enough to stop and help you find the spider. (True story). Five minutes later, a car stopped and a nice young man offered to drive me home then walk back home so I didn't have to sit in the driver's seat again that night. People in Maui are SO INCREDIBLY kind. Thank God.
So, yes. Do all of those things!! However, that looks for you, do it. The rest is simply a distraction and is adding to the 'story bank' of I'm not good enough or If only I could clear this chakra just a liiiiiittle more, I will be all better! We want so many answers from other people all of the time, but I truly believe we all have our own answers within. The hard part for most of us is getting quite enough for long enough to listen. This is meditation. This is awareness practice. This is getting closer to the truth. Because when we REALLY want to know the real truth, it will be revealed to us. It's not always pretty!! It's not always what we want in the moment. And it will only be revealed to us when the universe knows we are strong enough to handle the truth. Only then, will it become beautiful. (Notice the difference between pretty and beautiful). Pretty seems, well, attractive. Beautiful is more whole. Almost like a radiant, glowing light of truth. Being 'pretty' is no longer my objective. I'm over it. I'm more interested in embodying beauty. It feels like the more righteous path- and even more raw. What's past the clothes and shoes and makeup and hair. What's in there?? Where's the light? Know what I mean?? Let's go there. It may be a more treacherous path, but I think it's worth it.
Through all of my adventures these past few weeks, I feel as if Krishna has been riding the waves with me as he does for Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita. I ask him questions when I need to, but most of the time, he just gives me the look. The one that says, "Anna, get quite. Listen to what feels true. Do that. No questions about it. Listen, then follow that voice. It's probably right." So far, it's been pretty right on the money. Interesting....
Sacramento, I will see you March 9th! On the 12th I will be holding a fundraiser for the Africa Yoga Project at Ashamy people I miss so much and teaching Cori's classes at Asha while she is in Mexico, then back to Maui. As for the rest of the world, I will see you when I see you!
Now, it is morning. I am alert, but hungry. Wait. I just had an idea. I'm gonna go make a smoothie and be back....
Ahhhh much better. Blackberries, strawberries, organic applesauce, almond milk and super seed. Breakfast delight.
Ok. So. I can list all the events that have taken place (some more significant than others), but the most interesting stories I can tell are the ones that are coming from within. I recently started reading the Bhagavad Gita for the first time and its parallels quite deeply with my experiences as of late: internal battles and choosing the righteous path rather than the one that will 'please' others in the face of external turmoil. What I mean by 'righteous' is what is true. What is right for the moment. What feels good to you and you know that if you told your mother that you did said act or thought said thought, she would be proud.
Now, you can wonder how in the world I can be having turmoil while living in one of the most breathtaking places on Earth, right? My only answer to that is that no matter where you go, you are always there. No matter if you are in Maui or Sacramento or a cave in the Himalayan mountains, YOU are always there. You and your wants, needs, thoughts, behaviors, habits, temperament, likes and dislikes. What I have learned over the past few weeks, if anything at all, is simply this: You are always you at the core of your being amongst change, growth and exploration of all that was previously mentioned and all you can do is get quite and listen to your truth. No amount of counseling, acupuncture, spiritual gab, magnet work, body work, tapping or whatever else we can make up these days to "refine" who we are at this moment in time is sufficient enough to make us truly at peace. Yes, do yoga or exercise and pamper your body. Yes, eat a healthy, well-balanced diet with little amounts of processed foods and sugars, toxins, etc. Yes, stay away from harmful drugs. Yes, create a community for yourself. One where you can feel completely open to be authentically you in the company of others. And yes, create a connection with a power greater then yourself so when you are alone, stuck on the side of the road at 10:30pm in the country/jungle/forest and there is a cane spider crawling toward you from your dashboard, you can pray to God that you make it through the moment alive as you jump to the passenger seat while the car is still going and reach your foot over to the driver's side, press the break so you can stop the car, climb out and over the hood and put the emergency flashers on while you stand in the middle of the road and pray and pray and pray that someone comes and is kind enough to stop and help you find the spider. (True story). Five minutes later, a car stopped and a nice young man offered to drive me home then walk back home so I didn't have to sit in the driver's seat again that night. People in Maui are SO INCREDIBLY kind. Thank God.
So, yes. Do all of those things!! However, that looks for you, do it. The rest is simply a distraction and is adding to the 'story bank' of I'm not good enough or If only I could clear this chakra just a liiiiiittle more, I will be all better! We want so many answers from other people all of the time, but I truly believe we all have our own answers within. The hard part for most of us is getting quite enough for long enough to listen. This is meditation. This is awareness practice. This is getting closer to the truth. Because when we REALLY want to know the real truth, it will be revealed to us. It's not always pretty!! It's not always what we want in the moment. And it will only be revealed to us when the universe knows we are strong enough to handle the truth. Only then, will it become beautiful. (Notice the difference between pretty and beautiful). Pretty seems, well, attractive. Beautiful is more whole. Almost like a radiant, glowing light of truth. Being 'pretty' is no longer my objective. I'm over it. I'm more interested in embodying beauty. It feels like the more righteous path- and even more raw. What's past the clothes and shoes and makeup and hair. What's in there?? Where's the light? Know what I mean?? Let's go there. It may be a more treacherous path, but I think it's worth it.
Through all of my adventures these past few weeks, I feel as if Krishna has been riding the waves with me as he does for Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita. I ask him questions when I need to, but most of the time, he just gives me the look. The one that says, "Anna, get quite. Listen to what feels true. Do that. No questions about it. Listen, then follow that voice. It's probably right." So far, it's been pretty right on the money. Interesting....
Sacramento, I will see you March 9th! On the 12th I will be holding a fundraiser for the Africa Yoga Project at Ashamy people I miss so much and teaching Cori's classes at Asha while she is in Mexico, then back to Maui. As for the rest of the world, I will see you when I see you!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Africa Yoga Project!- Lead the Change!
When I arrived on Maui over a month ago, Melissa, Maureen and I were cruising through Mana Foods (our version of the Co-op) when Melissa spotted a little red book titled If Not Now, Then When?! Naturally, it was purchased. As I resign to the keyboard again today and pull in from the outside world to spill my thoughts and guts to the world wide web, I am finding the picture of that book in my head. This time, the title is SCREAMING at me....
"IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!?!?"
Let's go back in time to a date approximately two years ago to explain. August 2nd, 2009- Final day of the 1st Annual Wanderlust Yoga and Music Festival in Squaw Valley, CA. I arrived early in the morning and was greeted by Cori and Maureen in the parking lot. They both had been at the festival for a few days already and were filled with Shri on the inside and sun tans on the outside. They were glowing. I had no clue what I was in for. Where the hell did they get their glows from?? :) Soon enough, I found out.
As we entered through the lodge, vendors offering all things 'yoga' from chocolate, organic energy bars to tye-dye pants lined the walkways. Of course it all caught my eye as I kept on like a child in a candy store: bright-eyed and floating in wonder. The last tent on the right, however, appeared as if it was sent from heaven. The banner read, "AFRICA YOGA PROJECT" and the messages said something like, "Be a part of the tribe!". The shirts on the table were made in Kenya by women who could sew, adorned with bright colors and prints, the words Namaste and Love. The people working at the tent were familiar to me as they were members of the Zuda Yoga tribe back home in Sacramento. I asked a few questions and floated away in silence. After the internal storm calmed, I muttered to Maureen, "I am going to do that. I am going to go to Africa and be with those people. I have to. They are a part of my tribe, or I am a part of theirs. I know it." Today, two years later, I still know it.
A few days ago, while lying on the beach reading the intro to the Bhagavad Gita, I took a moment to pause and check my phone as it rang. Skipping the call, I quickly checked my email before returning to the book. The email in my inbox was titled, "AYP Seva Safari Retreat- Join Us In Kenya this July!" My heart began to beat faster. IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!, I asked myself!! For two years I have been dreaming of this opportunity to go and experience the slums of Kenya, share yoga with the people, be a part of the tribe and contribute to making their world a better place. Self-doubt has kept me from this dream... "Anna, you can't raise enough money to do that! That's asking too much of others. What makes you think people will donate their money to send you to Africa?" Also, "Anna, you are WAY too afraid of bugs to go to Africa. You won't make it one night!"
I have been living in Maui for over a month now and the gifts I have received since day one are bountiful...
*Jed and Maureen's open door into their home, family, refrigerator and hearts
*Maui Kombucha :)
*Trevlyn's overly-hospitable kindness
*My hair stylist pointing me to the perfect job
*My fantastic job!- Penguini
*My super cute BMW convertible Maui cruiser (comes with Troy, the man that sold it to me who just last night took the car back when it was overheating, gave me his new car in the mean time, FIXED my car, then gave it back in better shape than when I bought it from him. Thank you, Maui!)
*New friends coming from all directions and walks of life
*The beach, jungles and sacred land!
*30 avocadoes in 4 days in my backyard
*A sweeeeet home in Haiku and Rodney, my roommate filled with adventurous life stories
*Anusara Immersion (included with a scholarship AND a ride to the studio when I didn't have a car.)
*Fears vanished (including those of most spiders, excluding the cane spiders for now... we're workin' on it)
*Tan skin
*Acupuncture treatments for $26
*Jen's yoga classes graciously handed over to me (hopefully...)
*An exchange of sparkling eyes and genuine smiles between myself and Ram Dass
*A trade for a past life regression session
*Work trade for free yoga at Studio Maui
I could continue for hours. Since the gifts are flowing, why not let it continue?
Africa Yoga Project has been one of my passions for almost two years. I LOVE this cause and feel so deeply tied to the people. To read more about it and check out what the non-profit actually does there, go to www.africayogaproject.org.
Or, watch this video.
This project not only heals the people of Africa by spreading yoga throughout the land, but it also restores and creates homes, orphanages, schools, villages and hope. I would be honored to be a part of this life-enhancing organization. If you have it in your heart, if this video or story or non-profit makes you melt even just a little bit, or maybe a lot, please please please let me help you help them. If not now, then when? We are all one tribe. One heart. One people. We all have the same shine in our eyes.
Inhale. Exhale. I have to fundraise $5000 in order to go to Kenya. I need your support and love. The money goes towards accomodations, yes, but mainly toward the betterment of Kenya. During my stay, we will be spending 6 days rebuilding a community, and the rest will be spent doing yoga with the people, sharing this sacred practice and watching the boundaries of tribes vanish as we become one.
All donations are tax-refundable. The deadline to submit most of the funds raised is April 15th, 2011. If you live in Maui, fundraising events are coming soon!! If you do not and are moved to help this cause, please contact me at aacheechov@gmail.com for more information or through my facebook page. Your support is not only a gift to me to be able to live out my dream, but it is a gift to the people of Kenya. Their hearts will be able to feel your love, they will take it in, then send it back out to you. It WILL come full circle. It's just the way it works. I have no doubt about that.
IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!
Much love to you all, my tribe. Mahalo for your support and love.
Namaste,
Anna
"IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!?!?"
Let's go back in time to a date approximately two years ago to explain. August 2nd, 2009- Final day of the 1st Annual Wanderlust Yoga and Music Festival in Squaw Valley, CA. I arrived early in the morning and was greeted by Cori and Maureen in the parking lot. They both had been at the festival for a few days already and were filled with Shri on the inside and sun tans on the outside. They were glowing. I had no clue what I was in for. Where the hell did they get their glows from?? :) Soon enough, I found out.
As we entered through the lodge, vendors offering all things 'yoga' from chocolate, organic energy bars to tye-dye pants lined the walkways. Of course it all caught my eye as I kept on like a child in a candy store: bright-eyed and floating in wonder. The last tent on the right, however, appeared as if it was sent from heaven. The banner read, "AFRICA YOGA PROJECT" and the messages said something like, "Be a part of the tribe!". The shirts on the table were made in Kenya by women who could sew, adorned with bright colors and prints, the words Namaste and Love. The people working at the tent were familiar to me as they were members of the Zuda Yoga tribe back home in Sacramento. I asked a few questions and floated away in silence. After the internal storm calmed, I muttered to Maureen, "I am going to do that. I am going to go to Africa and be with those people. I have to. They are a part of my tribe, or I am a part of theirs. I know it." Today, two years later, I still know it.
A few days ago, while lying on the beach reading the intro to the Bhagavad Gita, I took a moment to pause and check my phone as it rang. Skipping the call, I quickly checked my email before returning to the book. The email in my inbox was titled, "AYP Seva Safari Retreat- Join Us In Kenya this July!" My heart began to beat faster. IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!, I asked myself!! For two years I have been dreaming of this opportunity to go and experience the slums of Kenya, share yoga with the people, be a part of the tribe and contribute to making their world a better place. Self-doubt has kept me from this dream... "Anna, you can't raise enough money to do that! That's asking too much of others. What makes you think people will donate their money to send you to Africa?" Also, "Anna, you are WAY too afraid of bugs to go to Africa. You won't make it one night!"
I have been living in Maui for over a month now and the gifts I have received since day one are bountiful...
*Jed and Maureen's open door into their home, family, refrigerator and hearts
*Maui Kombucha :)
*Trevlyn's overly-hospitable kindness
*My hair stylist pointing me to the perfect job
*My fantastic job!- Penguini
*My super cute BMW convertible Maui cruiser (comes with Troy, the man that sold it to me who just last night took the car back when it was overheating, gave me his new car in the mean time, FIXED my car, then gave it back in better shape than when I bought it from him. Thank you, Maui!)
*New friends coming from all directions and walks of life
*The beach, jungles and sacred land!
*30 avocadoes in 4 days in my backyard
*A sweeeeet home in Haiku and Rodney, my roommate filled with adventurous life stories
*Anusara Immersion (included with a scholarship AND a ride to the studio when I didn't have a car.)
*Fears vanished (including those of most spiders, excluding the cane spiders for now... we're workin' on it)
*Tan skin
*Acupuncture treatments for $26
*Jen's yoga classes graciously handed over to me (hopefully...)
*An exchange of sparkling eyes and genuine smiles between myself and Ram Dass
*A trade for a past life regression session
*Work trade for free yoga at Studio Maui
I could continue for hours. Since the gifts are flowing, why not let it continue?
Africa Yoga Project has been one of my passions for almost two years. I LOVE this cause and feel so deeply tied to the people. To read more about it and check out what the non-profit actually does there, go to www.africayogaproject.org.
Or, watch this video.
This project not only heals the people of Africa by spreading yoga throughout the land, but it also restores and creates homes, orphanages, schools, villages and hope. I would be honored to be a part of this life-enhancing organization. If you have it in your heart, if this video or story or non-profit makes you melt even just a little bit, or maybe a lot, please please please let me help you help them. If not now, then when? We are all one tribe. One heart. One people. We all have the same shine in our eyes.
Inhale. Exhale. I have to fundraise $5000 in order to go to Kenya. I need your support and love. The money goes towards accomodations, yes, but mainly toward the betterment of Kenya. During my stay, we will be spending 6 days rebuilding a community, and the rest will be spent doing yoga with the people, sharing this sacred practice and watching the boundaries of tribes vanish as we become one.
All donations are tax-refundable. The deadline to submit most of the funds raised is April 15th, 2011. If you live in Maui, fundraising events are coming soon!! If you do not and are moved to help this cause, please contact me at aacheechov@gmail.com for more information or through my facebook page. Your support is not only a gift to me to be able to live out my dream, but it is a gift to the people of Kenya. Their hearts will be able to feel your love, they will take it in, then send it back out to you. It WILL come full circle. It's just the way it works. I have no doubt about that.
IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?!
Much love to you all, my tribe. Mahalo for your support and love.
Namaste,
Anna
Monday, February 7, 2011
Kali. My February Mentor.
I spent this past weekend with my new kula here in Maui taking part in the Anusara Immersion Part 2, Module 2. Three days of stretching, strengthening, meditation, contemplation, bliss, bhava, and discussions of time and goddess archetypes that are alive and well within us all. All of the work we employed in all layers of our beings over the three days led us up to one final question: What is divine beauty and what does that FEEL like?
As I sit here writing to you, whoever you are, I pause to feel. When we get quiet enough, still enough, undistracted enough, and pause for how ever long it takes us to feel it, THAT is what we live for. Not our jobs, not our clothes, not our cell phones. This is all extra. When we come into this world, we are naked and free. We probably even feel IT, the source of all- the one things that composes all matter, thoughts and spirit. We are so innocently free that nothing else matters except quietness and contentment. Some babies don't even want to leave the warmth of the womb.
We start in the darkness, the black hole, coming from nothing except the light that exists down in the depths of that hole. We are light. Everything is light that came from the dark. Kali, the goddess of the darkness and destruction emerges from this space/time. She is waiting for us before we are born and fiercely works to dissolve any barriers that may come our way when we enter into the material world in the form of our bodies. Kali is WILD! Check her out...
Can you relate? I can, for sure. Naked. Skulls around her neck. Human hands around her waist. Tongue out, dripping with blood of soldiers she has slaughtered and beheaded, then drank their blood to make sure they could not come back into form. Weapons in her hands. Gently claiming her victory over Shiva, her consort, the God of destruction. And yet, she is still a supreme goddess. Underneath it all, she is compassion. She is fierce so that we may know peace. She gets wild so we can shed that which does not serve us. We manifest her into our universe so we may know the source more intimately.
Pause. Can you feel her? She is the one that can guide you out of the dark. She is the one that can lead you to grace. This month, Kali is my best friend. The shine of the island is wearing off and Mama Maui is cycling me into the dark. Naked. Raw. In the jungle with no cell phone reception. Spiders. Silence. Alone time. Just me and my thoughts, living with the least amount of distraction I have ever experienced. Scary, yes. Thank God I have Kali to invoke into every moment. Her power to dissolve all the skeletons that are hanging in my internal closet give me hope that external light will once again shine.
I do have work. I can still text from home and make calls away from home. I am not living in a cave, although our humble abode is sort of like a portal. When you walk through the door, its almost as if you are taken back 50 years to the time when the peace movement was taking place in San Francisco. Let me tell you, this is a good thing. Those hippies (which I am aspiring to be) had it right, I think. They were able to transcend, with the use of substances or not, closer to the truth of who we are: light and love. That's it. And it's also 'it', the one, the source. They knew it and wrote about it, and made art because of it expressing the beauty they were able to see. It's no wonder so many people have written about spiritual experiences- its the truth!! Why would you NOT want to share the truth if you have seen it? In the silence, we can see it, know it. Then, when noise returns, we can appreciate it even more. The worldly expressions become more vivid. We see the gods and goddesses in others. We recognize light and love within ourselves and everything that we come into contact with. Talk about progress on the path, my friends....
This is divine beauty. The recognition that there is darkness within. We begin in the womb innately as light within the darkness and have the opportunity to get brighter, then go back to the dark to dissolve more of what is keeping us from the light during our lifetime. Eventually we end in the tomb- darkness. Our light puts our bodies to rest, then continues on the cycle. We can do this on a daily basis and also over centuries. Light-dark-light-brighter light-dark-light. The cycle never ends on a macro and micro level. Tune in. Get quiet. Listen. It's there within us all.
At the end of a yoga practice, we say 'Namaste'. The literal translation is, 'The light within me honors and recognizes the light within you'. Namaste, friends. Much love and light to you on this day and all the days to come.
Now, it's time for Kali and I to go get some booch, go to the beach, and spread love in the form of coffee drinks, house made gelato and sorbets, paninis and wraps, or whatever else Penguini can offer those who live in Maui for all of your lunch-time needs. Aloha!
As I sit here writing to you, whoever you are, I pause to feel. When we get quiet enough, still enough, undistracted enough, and pause for how ever long it takes us to feel it, THAT is what we live for. Not our jobs, not our clothes, not our cell phones. This is all extra. When we come into this world, we are naked and free. We probably even feel IT, the source of all- the one things that composes all matter, thoughts and spirit. We are so innocently free that nothing else matters except quietness and contentment. Some babies don't even want to leave the warmth of the womb.
We start in the darkness, the black hole, coming from nothing except the light that exists down in the depths of that hole. We are light. Everything is light that came from the dark. Kali, the goddess of the darkness and destruction emerges from this space/time. She is waiting for us before we are born and fiercely works to dissolve any barriers that may come our way when we enter into the material world in the form of our bodies. Kali is WILD! Check her out...
Can you relate? I can, for sure. Naked. Skulls around her neck. Human hands around her waist. Tongue out, dripping with blood of soldiers she has slaughtered and beheaded, then drank their blood to make sure they could not come back into form. Weapons in her hands. Gently claiming her victory over Shiva, her consort, the God of destruction. And yet, she is still a supreme goddess. Underneath it all, she is compassion. She is fierce so that we may know peace. She gets wild so we can shed that which does not serve us. We manifest her into our universe so we may know the source more intimately.
Pause. Can you feel her? She is the one that can guide you out of the dark. She is the one that can lead you to grace. This month, Kali is my best friend. The shine of the island is wearing off and Mama Maui is cycling me into the dark. Naked. Raw. In the jungle with no cell phone reception. Spiders. Silence. Alone time. Just me and my thoughts, living with the least amount of distraction I have ever experienced. Scary, yes. Thank God I have Kali to invoke into every moment. Her power to dissolve all the skeletons that are hanging in my internal closet give me hope that external light will once again shine.
I do have work. I can still text from home and make calls away from home. I am not living in a cave, although our humble abode is sort of like a portal. When you walk through the door, its almost as if you are taken back 50 years to the time when the peace movement was taking place in San Francisco. Let me tell you, this is a good thing. Those hippies (which I am aspiring to be) had it right, I think. They were able to transcend, with the use of substances or not, closer to the truth of who we are: light and love. That's it. And it's also 'it', the one, the source. They knew it and wrote about it, and made art because of it expressing the beauty they were able to see. It's no wonder so many people have written about spiritual experiences- its the truth!! Why would you NOT want to share the truth if you have seen it? In the silence, we can see it, know it. Then, when noise returns, we can appreciate it even more. The worldly expressions become more vivid. We see the gods and goddesses in others. We recognize light and love within ourselves and everything that we come into contact with. Talk about progress on the path, my friends....
This is divine beauty. The recognition that there is darkness within. We begin in the womb innately as light within the darkness and have the opportunity to get brighter, then go back to the dark to dissolve more of what is keeping us from the light during our lifetime. Eventually we end in the tomb- darkness. Our light puts our bodies to rest, then continues on the cycle. We can do this on a daily basis and also over centuries. Light-dark-light-brighter light-dark-light. The cycle never ends on a macro and micro level. Tune in. Get quiet. Listen. It's there within us all.
At the end of a yoga practice, we say 'Namaste'. The literal translation is, 'The light within me honors and recognizes the light within you'. Namaste, friends. Much love and light to you on this day and all the days to come.
Now, it's time for Kali and I to go get some booch, go to the beach, and spread love in the form of coffee drinks, house made gelato and sorbets, paninis and wraps, or whatever else Penguini can offer those who live in Maui for all of your lunch-time needs. Aloha!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Intuition and Ego. Ohhh the Mighty Webs We Weave.
Today I woke up early, cleaned a yoga studio, then my usual- Maui Kombucha. Undoubtedly the best place on Maui, if not on the entire planet. My daily habit just got a little more expensive, but it's well worth it. MK is the home of my first 'business' I visited on the island. My first new friend I made here (who has time and time again over the past month provided endless support and love and I appreciate it mucho mucho much if you are reading this!). First kombucha high- GT's doesn't even come close. First experience with Libido Balls, Brain Boosters and Hot Shots (all not at all what you might think they would be and all ohhh sooo delicious and nutritious). And I'm sure it's the place that will continue to provide space for many first connections to be made with people (and foods) that will be in my life in a more-than-significant way... because the people (and foods) that show up there are simply significantly extraordinary, if those words can be meshed together to explain something that is comprehendably greater than most things that could be thought of.
So if you get the picture I am trying to paint for you, perfect. If not, just think of some place you would not want to not be, and go there in your mind. Got it?? Good.
As I am enjoying my cup of Raspberry Fusion mixed with Blood Orange kombucha and my raw Mexican pizza with fresh, ripe avo slices on top, my other new friend who we will call Mr. J (for sake or preserving their identity) and I held an interesting conversation about intuition. Here goes the main jist of it...
So we have these thoughts that our mind makes up to foster the health of our ego. We can call them stories. We can hold on to stories that serve us or don't. We also can hold on to stories that are close to the truth or are not. If we mix service and truth together and formulate a single measurement from it, we would end up along some sort of spectrum whose ends are titled 'true' and 'false'. The story would be somewhere in between.
Then there is our intuition. This functions on a different kosha, or layer of the body, than the stories. The stories are formed in the mental body while the intuition works with the intellectual body- the layer that is able to communicate with the part of us that innately knows what's true and what's false. The unfortunate part is that for some (or should I say most) of us, we tend to listen to the stories more than our intuition. I believe this is because the voice that tells the stories is a liiiiiittle bit LOUDER than the voice that speaks from the place of intuition, and I have direct experience with this on a daily basis.
Mr. J and I came up with a brilliant idea. One that most likely stemmed from the flowering of our intellects crashing together at the same time, in the same magical place- Maui Kombucha. We decided it would be a grand experiment AND experience to keep an 'intuition journal'. In this journal, we would have the chance to record each time we followed the quiet voice- the intuition, the truth- and each time the ego got louder and told us to act or think otherwise, going against our deep truth juuust because we wanted to see what would happen, or it looked more intriguing, or we were just feeling like acting with reckless abandon.
This journal would be a perfect way to measure just how much we are living in reality. Then, when we are 100, we would be able to look back and see what happened when we listened to the intuition- How well did it go? What was the outcome? Long term wasn't that a great decision even though it was tough?? We concluded that any time you are going to follow your intuition, it's always going to work out for the best because it's closer to the truth and innate truth is good (even if it seems bad or scary or hard to deal with). We would also get to look back on the actions and reactions the ego created and its outcome. What happened when we listened to that voice? What good came of it? What bad? Where did we have to backtrack to make up for lost time and effort toward the good?
I think its interesting. Mr. J thought it was interesting. So, I'm going to give it a go. I'm assuming I am going to be writing a lot more because of it. Our days are FILLED with decision-making. Which voice do we follow? Which road leads us to bliss? We might not know til we are 100, but I think its worth the wait. At least one day we will know the truth about the truth. Today, however, we can start to cultivate that deeper awareness of the quiet voice and get to know it more intimately. Become it's friend and lover. Trust it, for it will never steer you wrong.
So if you get the picture I am trying to paint for you, perfect. If not, just think of some place you would not want to not be, and go there in your mind. Got it?? Good.
As I am enjoying my cup of Raspberry Fusion mixed with Blood Orange kombucha and my raw Mexican pizza with fresh, ripe avo slices on top, my other new friend who we will call Mr. J (for sake or preserving their identity) and I held an interesting conversation about intuition. Here goes the main jist of it...
So we have these thoughts that our mind makes up to foster the health of our ego. We can call them stories. We can hold on to stories that serve us or don't. We also can hold on to stories that are close to the truth or are not. If we mix service and truth together and formulate a single measurement from it, we would end up along some sort of spectrum whose ends are titled 'true' and 'false'. The story would be somewhere in between.
Then there is our intuition. This functions on a different kosha, or layer of the body, than the stories. The stories are formed in the mental body while the intuition works with the intellectual body- the layer that is able to communicate with the part of us that innately knows what's true and what's false. The unfortunate part is that for some (or should I say most) of us, we tend to listen to the stories more than our intuition. I believe this is because the voice that tells the stories is a liiiiiittle bit LOUDER than the voice that speaks from the place of intuition, and I have direct experience with this on a daily basis.
Mr. J and I came up with a brilliant idea. One that most likely stemmed from the flowering of our intellects crashing together at the same time, in the same magical place- Maui Kombucha. We decided it would be a grand experiment AND experience to keep an 'intuition journal'. In this journal, we would have the chance to record each time we followed the quiet voice- the intuition, the truth- and each time the ego got louder and told us to act or think otherwise, going against our deep truth juuust because we wanted to see what would happen, or it looked more intriguing, or we were just feeling like acting with reckless abandon.
This journal would be a perfect way to measure just how much we are living in reality. Then, when we are 100, we would be able to look back and see what happened when we listened to the intuition- How well did it go? What was the outcome? Long term wasn't that a great decision even though it was tough?? We concluded that any time you are going to follow your intuition, it's always going to work out for the best because it's closer to the truth and innate truth is good (even if it seems bad or scary or hard to deal with). We would also get to look back on the actions and reactions the ego created and its outcome. What happened when we listened to that voice? What good came of it? What bad? Where did we have to backtrack to make up for lost time and effort toward the good?
I think its interesting. Mr. J thought it was interesting. So, I'm going to give it a go. I'm assuming I am going to be writing a lot more because of it. Our days are FILLED with decision-making. Which voice do we follow? Which road leads us to bliss? We might not know til we are 100, but I think its worth the wait. At least one day we will know the truth about the truth. Today, however, we can start to cultivate that deeper awareness of the quiet voice and get to know it more intimately. Become it's friend and lover. Trust it, for it will never steer you wrong.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Just When We Think We Know...
...WE DON'T REALLY KNOW! Why? It's simple- The only thing that is constant, that we can really know, that we can count on, is change. That, and I believe we can know the source of all, the 'it', God. But that's a whole other conversation (that DOES pertain to this, as it does to everything, because it is all there is, but I'll try not to go there).
Being the 'new' girl is starting to be something I can identify with as I approach my one month marker of life on Maui. It's not like I'm a traveler anymore or some transient person just coming through like the wind. I'm more like a tree now. Maybe like a palm tree, more precisely. My roots are sinking into the soil here and soon enough I will be able to provide shade, beauty and coconuts. My intention is to offer enough sustenance to those I am surround by while graciously accepting their unique gifts in whatever form they appear. It's a give and take, a dance if you will. And when we learn to dance with the one source that feeds us all, there is no turning back, for nothing feeds us as much as that experience. No gelato, no ono, no cappuccino. Simply the divine fruit that each individual tree or plant or whatever form it takes has to offer. The gelato is most fulfilling when we recognize the dance we can have with it- our taste buds dancing with the flavors. The same with the fish and coffee. And yet, even these experiences are in constant flux depending on our moods and emotions.
As I continue to soften into the arms of Maui and we get to know each other more intimately, I feel as if she is gaining more confidence in me- more trust. She is willing to take me places and show me things that she feels I am ready for. We begin to breathe together.
This past month has been filled with wonder, exploration, beaches, rainbows, sunsets, new people- close friends and acquaintances, tree houses, a new haircut that led to a new job, a new car (she still needs a name), new yoga, new new new!! New thoughts. Old thoughts revamped! Change! All around, change. And to that I say Mahalo, Maui. Mucho, mucho mahalo for giving me the experience of change. It has opened so many doors on all levels of my being, from the most basic, physical level to the deepest spiritual level that I have the ability to tap into at this moment in my lifetime, and all levels in between. The mental, emotional and intellectual levels are getting just as much attention and love as the other two extremes.
It's almost as if January was a test. A test in which Maui was trying to find out if it could shine all of its glitz and glamour in front of my eyes to see just how blinded I could become by its beauty. I don't feel like I got sucked in, so I think that's a passing score. What I do know is that I was able to show a lot of appreciation for the shiny-ness, and I continue to do so today. For that, she offers rewards in the form of more and more change. So we dance. She offers change, I accept. I appreciate, and she offers change again. This circular dance continues as long as states of openness and wonder are present.
I raise my kombucha glass to February. To the beginning of a new month. To more change. To open doorways filled with more wonder and shine and opportunity for growth. To the budding of the coconut seeds on my palm tree. And most importantly, to the dance between myself and whatever else is shown to me, in whatever form it takes. That, my friends, is 'it', the source of our true nature. Drink up and enjoy. Cheers!
Being the 'new' girl is starting to be something I can identify with as I approach my one month marker of life on Maui. It's not like I'm a traveler anymore or some transient person just coming through like the wind. I'm more like a tree now. Maybe like a palm tree, more precisely. My roots are sinking into the soil here and soon enough I will be able to provide shade, beauty and coconuts. My intention is to offer enough sustenance to those I am surround by while graciously accepting their unique gifts in whatever form they appear. It's a give and take, a dance if you will. And when we learn to dance with the one source that feeds us all, there is no turning back, for nothing feeds us as much as that experience. No gelato, no ono, no cappuccino. Simply the divine fruit that each individual tree or plant or whatever form it takes has to offer. The gelato is most fulfilling when we recognize the dance we can have with it- our taste buds dancing with the flavors. The same with the fish and coffee. And yet, even these experiences are in constant flux depending on our moods and emotions.
As I continue to soften into the arms of Maui and we get to know each other more intimately, I feel as if she is gaining more confidence in me- more trust. She is willing to take me places and show me things that she feels I am ready for. We begin to breathe together.
This past month has been filled with wonder, exploration, beaches, rainbows, sunsets, new people- close friends and acquaintances, tree houses, a new haircut that led to a new job, a new car (she still needs a name), new yoga, new new new!! New thoughts. Old thoughts revamped! Change! All around, change. And to that I say Mahalo, Maui. Mucho, mucho mahalo for giving me the experience of change. It has opened so many doors on all levels of my being, from the most basic, physical level to the deepest spiritual level that I have the ability to tap into at this moment in my lifetime, and all levels in between. The mental, emotional and intellectual levels are getting just as much attention and love as the other two extremes.
It's almost as if January was a test. A test in which Maui was trying to find out if it could shine all of its glitz and glamour in front of my eyes to see just how blinded I could become by its beauty. I don't feel like I got sucked in, so I think that's a passing score. What I do know is that I was able to show a lot of appreciation for the shiny-ness, and I continue to do so today. For that, she offers rewards in the form of more and more change. So we dance. She offers change, I accept. I appreciate, and she offers change again. This circular dance continues as long as states of openness and wonder are present.
I raise my kombucha glass to February. To the beginning of a new month. To more change. To open doorways filled with more wonder and shine and opportunity for growth. To the budding of the coconut seeds on my palm tree. And most importantly, to the dance between myself and whatever else is shown to me, in whatever form it takes. That, my friends, is 'it', the source of our true nature. Drink up and enjoy. Cheers!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Happenings and Stillness
January 27th, 2011. My oh my how the time flies. It's been 27 days since I landed on Maui, my new home. My place of inspiration, exploration, new beginnings, adventure, freedom, and amongst all things that are dynamically happening, there is also much room for stillness. Beautiful stillness. Like the kind you hear sometimes when you get in to your car- no radio on and no outside noise. Just you and the space enclosed within the doors and windows. Sometimes its so still, you can hear the stillness of the molecules of air buzzing around so quickly yet oh so slooooowly. Even though I do have a car here now (super cute little 88 BMW 325i convertible Maui cruiser), the stillness goes beyond the doors and windows. Now I can put the top down and cruuuuise, actually and metaphorically speaking. I'm finding the space here for the yin and the yang. The quiet and the loud. The mellow and the fullness of action. Balanced Yogi (all my Asha peeps) has never made more sense within my being- thanks Cori. I think I'm ready to share it with the people here, for the benefit of them and myself.
Last week I vowed to take a digital detox from my phone and internet (including facebook and blogging!!). Not so easy, so I commend all that have successfully completed this vow. The internet detachment was not too bad, especially because the connection at home is shaky and coffee here at the local shops with a wireless hookup costs a little more than what it should. (I need to save my dollars for the fabulous kombucha up the street rather than a mediocre cappuccino anyway.) Reflecting on the experience allows me to truly say life is grand without it. I WILL say it's less stressful and helps me to focus on the now- what's actually in front of my face rather than what's on a computer screen. The more difficult part of the vow was the phone. I lasted one whole day. Pathetic? Maybe. Whatever. What I can say, though, is that without my phone, I would still be jobless and car-less. This week, the climb to the top of both of those volcanoes were accomplished. But it wasn't too much of a climb. Maybe it was more like a ski lift (if you could ski on volcanoes... which could have been possible this week in Maui. There was snow on the top of Haleakala). Smooth sailing to the top!! Mama Maui just keeps providing for me with so much tenderness- I am grateful. I feel blessed. Which leads me to what's going on inside....
PRAYER! Jesus, Shiva, Krishna, God, whatever you want to call 'it', the 'it' that allows us to speak and hear our thoughts is alive and well within my being. I can feel it, kinda like the way it feels when you get butterflies in your tummy. But these ones are there all day long and I believe they are there into the night as I rest.
I grew up going to a Catholic school for 9 years. Never once have I felt what I am feeling now when I talk to God. I know deep down in my tummy that there is truth, clarity and validity to my words as I share them with this source that I cannot see, but can only feel. You might be writing me off at this point (or maybe I am instilling more faith within you and your butterflies are starting to flutter within your own tummy too), but I don't know how else to tell you what I am feeling. This is truly a spiritual experience. Believe me or not. It is what it is. So I pray, and pray and pray and pray. This is the action, the happs, the yang. The harder part is the stillness, the listening, the yin, the mediation. Yes, I can say this part is hard for me, as it is for MOST people I talk with. Meditation doesn't come at the drop of a dime. It takes patience and persistence in sitting with the uncomfortable and the unknown. It takes faith and trust. Trusting. SOFTENING. Breathing.
This week, as I peeled myself away from technology as much as I could, I got a chance to read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. The line that stood out most for me was this.... "Prayer is the act of talking to God, while mediation is the act of listening." So true. And as the prayers keep being asked, and most importantly, answered and fully realized into the material world, my faith continues to grow. So, the prayers keep flowing, the action stays as steady as the waves on the shore. The stillness and the listening stay at the forefront of my awareness. Patience. Persistence. The search for the balance between the two continues as the sweet, sweet nectar that secretes itself in the form of answers and gifts continue to appear. Mahalo, God. Mahalo, Maui (which is also God). And mahalo sweet friends and family (new and old), for you are also God.
Til next time, aloha!
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