Night #1

As most of you know, Mr. Patrick and I have started the process of living single lives. However, up until tonight we have continued to share the same roof, food, toothpaste and Bo Jangles. Tonight is Night #1- of sleeping in different beds, under different roofs. (Luckily for me, I still have Bo at my feet chewing his bone.)

Now its not like I have never been through a breakup, but it is true that I haven't slept alone in quite some time. Depending on what tribe you are in, you might say, "Well that's not so bad- I do it every night." Or on the flip side, "I couldn't imagine my partner being gone!" I feel like I am somewhere in the middle of the two. I'm truly OK with it. Knowing that I have no one to come home to and cuddle with is disheartening. I'm a woman for God's sake! I like the love and companionship that relationships have to offer. Most of all, I really do love Patrick and am going to miss him dearly. I know the pain of the loss fades with time, and that gives me hope. However, today, I got a little more than hope- I got some motivation. Much, much needed motivation.

Each week, the Sacramento News and Review has a weekly horoscope that I swear on Bo Jangles' life is always right on to the tee. This week, it basically said that Socrates gave up everything to discover his soul. This too must be my path right now. It recommended that I tear away everything that is keeping me from seeing my deep inner being. How fitting. Of course. Of course it would say that!!! Of course I would read that today and of course it just happens to be the day that Mr. P is no longer sleeping next to me. The day that "something" goes away, so I can take a look at myself- alone. Well, I better get used to it. Hawaii is going to be a place of beauty, new experiences, and for some reason I'm seeing some solitude as well. I agree with the horoscope. It is much needed for me. I spend so much time looking for human interaction- mainly because I simply like it. But also because there is that part of me that just doesn't feel comfortable with being alone.

And so it begins. This next chapter of my book walking the path with me, myself and I. The horoscope motivated me because that message only solidified what I already knew. Deep down, I know this breakup happened because I need to go explore! And P needs to stay home and ground. So, that's what we are doing. We are both honoring those little butterflies in our tummies that are telling us each what direction to turn next. Thank our guardian angels for yelling loud enough for us to hear and the butterfly wings fluttering fast enough for us to feel!

Bo Jangles is snoring. Its time to count some sheep. Thanks for listening. Xo.